It's Time—

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

The healer that passed through told Niylah that she would not be giving birth for at least another two weeks... Of course, she knew this—up until this morning. You could never plan these things. After a few particularly violent kicks, Bellamy offered to stay with her, just in case. She had insisted that she was fine... Cael was just active. So, reluctantly Bellamy went to work—tending to the inn while Niylah struggled to get any rest at all. She had never given birth before, and she didn’t have a mother to tell her what to expect, so when the kicks turned into twists and cramps that were so crippling she couldn’t stay upright she was caught off guard. It was too soon... Something was wrong—it had to be something wrong.

She cried out as another contraction hit, much closer than the last. It made her fall to her knees heavily, taking the night side table with her—the sound was enough to silence the room below her. Her labored breaths came hard as she curled around herself tightly—her vision blurring at the edges... was it normal for it to hurt this much? Shaking, she crawled towards the bed for something to lean against—knowing that the curled up position she was in would probably only make it worse... Instead though she worried more. The healer wasn’t here. He wasn’t due back for another week so who would help her? Her mother had a healer when she gave birth... She knew him from the trading post.

Another cramp made her yelp in pain and bite down hard on her lip to suppress it. They were minutes apart now. Her breathing was sped and her skin was so hot she felt like she was on fire... She shouldn’t have let Bellamy leave... She should have listened to him but she assumed that he was overreacting. He always worried—so it wasn’t that farfetched, but she sent him away.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

This was an integral stage of the pregnancy. Then again, to Bellamy, they all were. Every time he was forced to leave her side, his mind was consumed with worry for her. He didn't like to leave her alone, even if she assured him she was fine. Most of the time, she was. But today, he really had to be pushed to leave. He didn't know why . . . but it just didn't feel right to leave her. She hadn't been well this morning, and his duty was to her and their baby. She was his family. She was his responsibility. So when he heard a loud thud coming from above, he could have sworn his heart skip a beat out of sheer panic.

He froze, abruptly stopping whatever he was doing. It was when he heard the agonizing cry only seconds after that he raced upstairs, running as fast as his legs could carry him, the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Bursting inside, he sure enough saw Niylah, her entire position and demanour indicating the pain that had prompted the scream. He didn't waste a second. He rushed and collapsed right in front of her, one hand going to her cheek while his other hand rested on her protruding stomach. "Niylah, are you okt?" He asked. Though, his gut was telling him what it could be. What it might be. What . . . it most likely was. His mother had endured the same pain giving birth to Octavia. But, Niylah was premature and that alone was enough to worry him even more. Yet at the same time, panicking in front of her would not do any good.

It would only made it harder for her, so he had to force back his emotions . . . despite how impossible it felt. "How far apart are the contractions?" He asked, as he began to remove his jacket, letting off whatever needless weight he could. He moved one of her arms around his neck, and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her to the bed where he gently lay her down, though kept her in an upright position, adding a pillow behind her to make it more comfortable. "Just breath, it's ok," He told her in an attempted soothing voice, holding her hand in his own as his other went to touch her forehead, determining any other symptoms that could arise with this possibly premature delivery. He looked down between her legs to see if her water broke because if it did . . . then this baby would be joining them earlier than they thought.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: @tag GOES HERE

She hadn’t noticed through one of the contractions, but her water had broken minutes ago—and while Bellamy carried her to the bed she couldn’t help the state of panic she felt. It was too soon for this… but his questions snapped her out of it momentarily. “—I don’t know—a few minutes,” she gasped as she shifted so that he could move the pillow behind her. Her breathing was sped as she held her hand on her stomach, feeling the movement and knowing that this was it. It was so soon… Carefully, she reached down to help him remove the weak woven material of her pants, but even that movement seemed to make her twinge in pain. “Bellamy—I can’t—this is too soon,” she whimpered, downright terrified. It was strange thinking of the invisible baby boy suddenly becoming real… So soon. Too soon…

“Agh—“ she gasped and curled in on herself slightly, fists clenching as she grabbed the covers. Her eyes were wide, not knowing how Bellamy was able to remain so calm, like he knew what to do. She trusted him completely, of course… but most men, even those of her clan would shy away from such things. They were supportive but even the pain was enough to make them uncomfortable. Bellamy had a healer’s spirit—the way he worked despite the chaos. Even her mind was chaotic with fear… the pain was immense… It clouded so much.

“Bellamy… I don’t think I can do this—“ she gasped and mewled as everything seemed to tighten and twist once again. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the covers… “I don’t know how to do this,” she knew the basics. Push, breathe… but she had no mother to learn from. Suddenly this all seemed to be too much. She saw nothing over her stomach as she moved her legs to give Bellamy more space—but she could feel the baby coming. She could feel it move—but instead of soft pressure it was agony. They were not in their own home, so she did her best to muffle the sounds—but her eyes were still wide and on Bellamy, not knowing what to do.

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Once she was situated on the bed, she moved to lower her pants and Bellamy took care of the rest, pulling them off and moving her lifting her shirt a little so that it was bunched up above her stomach, directly under her chest. He then quickly hurried to get what was needed: a bowl of water with a cloth, blankets, a blade to cut the chord with, and whatever other little thing that his past experience doing this reminded him of needing. A few minutes she had said. This baby was coming. The thought, terrified him. Not of becoming a father, but the knowledge that if something were to happen to either Niylah or their baby . . . it would be on him.

It would be his fault. Panic and expressing this terror would do neither of them any good, so he had to swallow it back and just focus on the present. Focus on what she needed him to be. And that was of a calm mind. She was right though; this was too soon. It was premature. On the Ark, they had medical professionals and the necessary resources to deal with a premature baby. Over here, they had nothing. But, they also did not have a choice. He set all the things down on the near by table, pushing in a place that he would have proper access to it. He then moved to sit on the edge of the bed, right near her. Each of his hands went to either of her cheeks, looking intently into her eyes.

"Oso fyucha ste komba raun." Our baby is coming. "Yu dula op disha." You can do this. "Ai hod yu in." I love you. He leaned forward and lightly kissed her lips, though the embrace held the emotion with his words. He didn't want her to doubt herself right now. He wanted to give her as much strength as his words and actions could grant her . . . which was also why he spoke in her language, rather than his own. Pulling away from the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers for a moment, a soft smile forming on his lips. The gesture seemed to ever so slightly help calm him down as well. "Nau teik's don a fyucha." Now let's have a baby. With that, Bellamy moved to the lower half of her body, gently parting her legs and propping them up so that her feet were against the bed and her knees pointed up as he look between them to see the situation of this delivery.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

Despite the pain, Niylah’s eyes never left Bellamy’s as he collected everything he needed. He worked with focus and though she knew that he couldn’t be completely without panic, he had to be afraid as well... but he knew what he was doing. It was more than she could say for herself, but when he cupped her face and spoke she couldn’t help the small and breathless laugh that escaped her lips. He couldn’t have known how much it meant to her—to hear the words fall from his lips, but it meant the world... “Ai hod yu in,” she repeated softly. Her fists were tight as she kissed him back lightly. They were doing this together. She could do it—with him at least...

As he moved, Niylah moved her hands back to the headboard where she could ground herself—knowing she would need to push. He’d calmed her enough so that she could feel what was happening. She could bite past the pain and feel where their son or daughter was—and it was close. She knew it was close. Now was not the time to be shy as she looked down at Bellamy. Instead of fighting the contractions she moved with them.

Her stomach tensed as she pushed—and god knew it hurt. She let out a cry before tightening her grip on the headboard, knowing that the inn was hardly the place for her yowling. She knew she had to stay relatively quiet. It became a pattern. Breathe—and then bear down. Niylah’s teeth clashed as the pain only seemed to worsen and she tried to hear Bellamy over her hammering pulse. The pain made everything red, but she could feel him. Even though she couldn’t see through the haze of labor she knew that Bellamy was there. It lasted so long... only, it wasn’t that long at all. She’d been through so much of it throughout the day without even knowing just how close she was and now all that was left was getting the baby out.

She thought of all the little kicks and moments they shared together, and though it didn’t help the pain it did help her to keep going. They would have so many more... Bellamy would make an incredible father. She’d known that before they even truly grew committed. From the first moment, she knew. It made sense that he would be the first face their baby would see. He’d been taking care of them for so long now... Distracting herself with these thoughts helped her work through the pain—she could feel it as the baby crowned and moved through her—stretching her body in ways she didn’t know it could. It unleashed a new kind of pain, but she knew it was almost over. “You—can you see—“ her voice was weak, but she could feel everything. Every move, every twist, every curve... She pushed once more and felt the shoulders slip—with everything else in that one moment it was over—but immediately she was terrified.

“Chomouda ste em nou crai op?” why is it not crying... there should be screaming—the baby was out, she knew that. She saw the flash of blue flesh but no screams. “Bellamy!” her voice was weak as sweat glistened across her skin and her breathing grew ragged. What was wrong? Something was wrong. “What... what is wrong...”

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The words she said to him never failed to warm his heart. To fill him with a joy that no other had been able to grant him. He never thought he would say the words to anyone, let alone have them being said to him. But they were. And this was not the first time he and Niylah had exchanged such powerful words. Hesitantly, he left her to move to the lower back of her body. He wished he could be two places at once. He wished he could be at her side, holding her upper body against him, stroking her forehead with a damp cloth to help ease the pain. Giving her his hand to squeeze as an outlet.

That, was where he would be had the proper person been here to help with the delivery. But she wasn't. And so they were on their own. The vocalized pain made Bellamy's heart ache with helplessness. He couldn't do anything to ease it and he hated it. Despite the fact that this was natural for women, that it was to be expected when giving birth . . . it made it no easier to hear the woman he loved in such pain and agony. "Breathe, Niylah," he encouraged, his hands gently nudging her legs apart a little. "Deep breaths." The more she tensed, the more she clenched, and the more painful it would be for the baby to come out.

"You're doing good. So good." He wanted to encourage her where he couldn't physically console her or help her through this. "Deep breaths," he repeated, mimicking how she needed to breathe to keep as calm as one could in such a position. With each push, each cry, they grew nearer to welcoming their baby into the world. "I see the head," he said, his voice holding a thrill to it; an excitement and yet. . . there was something wrong. He could feel it. Just as she did. When the baby came out, Bellamy reached for the dagger to cut the cord and gently held the small newborn in his arms.

It wasn't crying. She wasn't crying. And she was discolored. She was more blue than a baby should be. Covered in the fluids of her mother, Bellamy couldn't bear to have Niylah hold her right now. Hell, the panic was racing in his heart, though he tried to be as calm as possible. He could hear her question of concern, as she too knew something was wrong. Further reinforced by him not giving her the baby, and for the baby to not be making a single sound. He had never been more afraid. He could feel the physical ache in his heart over the trepidation . . . threatening to numb him and yet he couldn't.

He needed to act on such as much instinct as he had when his mother had handed him a newborn Octavia seconds before she fainted. Bellamy had no idea what to do then. Instinct had prompted him to put his finger between the baby's lips. Knowing, that if she cried . . . Octavia and his mother would both die. He needed to act, he needed to think. Holding the fragile being in his arms, he turned so that his back was to Niylah, These were not the first memories he wanted her to have of their baby. Instinct. Instinct. Instinct. He used a finger to part their daughter's lips, before lifting her up, as Bellamy tilted his own head down until he could breathe into her. Nothing.

The new father closed his eyes for a moment, threatening to crumble from the terror he felt right. But he would try again. Lowering his lips to their daughter's, he breathed air into her. Nothing. "Beja," he whispered, hardly audible, as he practically begged and pleaded to his daughter and whatever higher being was out there. He could not lose their daughter. He tried once more, unable to admit defeat. Taking a deep breath, he breathed whatever life and love he could into their daughter . . . and it prompted a whimper before a full on cry. Bellamy's expression immediately transformed, turning into a soft smile as his eyes welled with tears.

Tears of joy. Tears of relief. Tears of sentiment. Tears of . . . whatever emotions he couldn't even quite state. Tears, of being a father. "Ai ni nou teik eni diyo foto hofli kom yu." I won't let anything bad happen to you. He paused only to close his eyes and place a tender kiss on her forehead as he finished his words, whispering them, breathing them to her with every ounce of his heart and soul. "Ai swega klin." I promise. With that, he finally turned toward Niylah, unashamed of the tear that fell from his eyes, only to be followed by another. He moved toward her, sitting next to her on the bed as he handed them their daughter. "Oso Seraphina." Our Seraphina. Their daughter. Their beloved, precious daughter.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

As Bellamy took the child, Niylah tried her best to see it. She was exhausted, dizzy and unable to move. Between the blood loss and the trauma itself it was difficult to stay alert, but the silence was deafening. Beja she heard Bellamy murmur so softly it could have been the air. She was listening so closely, she could hear her own heartbeat. “Is... what’s wrong,” she whimpered quietly—voice breaking as Bellamy held their child. She’d only seen a flash; pale blue skin—but the piercing cry tore through the silence like the most beautiful music she had ever heard. She took her first breath since Bellamy took her into his arms. Every breath that followed came with tears of relief... it was done. They’d done it.

“Seraphina,” she murmured softly as she looked at their baby. She was so... so much like her father with dark hair that curled into little wisps. She’d never seen a baby with so much hair... “Em ste... meizen...” she is beautiful she murmured quietly, in awe of the little child she’d been waiting so long to see. She held the baby gently as if she were made of glass. Niylah had never seen a newborn this close, let alone held one in her arms. The new mother’s arms tightened around her daughter, wanting to keep her close and warm to soothe her. Every feature was a part of them. She could see so much of her father... and there were little things; her own mother’s nose was one of them. Her skin had a soft tan in contrast to Niylah’s. Her eyes were a dark blue she knew would darken into her father’s eyes... she was perfect.

Niylah was slipping into the dark, but not before she grabbed a soft cloth that she’d had made for their baby. It was smooth and think; perfect for wrapping their little newborn... She couldn’t do it herself... not at the moment, but she leaned against Bellamy and looked up at him with a tired smile. “You are going to be an incredible father,” she said softly with her cheek against him. Her arm loosened lightly around Seraphina, “We wouldn’t... have made it this far without you...” Niylah couldn’t stop looking at their baby, even as her vision clouded. She was so tired... She didn’t want to drop Sera though—or even blink. This perfect little bundle was impossible not to look at. Their baby was real...

OWL

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: amber4

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy watched in awe, mesmerized by the woman he loved and the daughter that was created from that love. He couldn't take his eyes off either of him, observing as Niylah wrapped the cloth around their newborn child. Seraphina. A figure that epitomized perfection. He leaned his head against Niylah's, an arm wrapped around the woman who had given him the greatest joy a man could ever know. He had the privilege of what it was to be a brother . . . and now, he had the honor of what it was to be a father. He softly smiled at her words, desperately hoping he would do nothing to prove her wrong, as he felt his own failures and insecurities already threatening to be a burden on her and their child. A past history that had caused him to kill so many fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters.

He didn't have the right to his own, especially after the Culling and Mount Weather . . . but here he was. Unable to deny himself the pure joy of fatherhood. Knowing it was futile to vocally reject her words, he returned the sentiment. "And you will make an amazing mother," he said confidently. She was nurturing, caring, and so many other things that weren't necessarily simply brought forth by maternal instinct. No. She had been this way since they first met. It was her personality, the way she was that had made him fall in love with her. And he knew for certain, that she would be an incredible mother. "Me neither," he told her softly, knowing that he wouldn't have survived without her. Not only physically, but emotionally . . . mentally. She had saved him in ways he didn't even know were possible.

He could see that she was starting to drift, and to give that added support, he moved his arms under Niylah's. Not to take the child, but should she drift into a slumber, and her arms relaxed, he would have a grip on Seraphina so that she didn't fall. No longer was he the frightened, terrified little boy who had watched his mother pass out . . . knowing that if he let Octavia cry, his mother would be floated. No. This time, he knew what to expect. He turned his head so that his lips were against Niylah's temple. "Go to sleep," he gently encouraged, knowing she must be exhausted. "Ai hod yu in." I love you. Words that could never be said enough.

[amber4]

TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Bellamy Blake

She still quivered with the weight of exhaustion and the sweat that chilled her, but her eyes couldn’t pry away from their baby girl. Their perfect little bundle with soft, dark eyes and thin whips of ash brown hair. The way her hand curled around Niylah’s thumb was enough to bring her to tears, had she already not been shedding tears of joy. She was greatful for Bellamy’s support and little by little she shifted closer against him. His lips on her damp temple made her sigh softly with content, but her heavy eyes stayed glued to their baby. “This moment is too precious... I feel like if I close my eyes it will all slip away like a perfect dream...” her head lulled against Bellamy as her fingers lightly played with Sera’s pouty lips; parting them gently and tracing them. She was getting to know her baby girl... everything about her from her chubby cheeks to her closing eyes... every detail.

Carefully, she looked up at the man who had given her everything... the love of her life; the light in her darkest moments... He was an angel. “You are my heart,” she murmured softly as she rested her cheek against him and nuzzled into his shoulder. “My sun... my everything. You have given me everything.” There had been a time; a small time where she resented him... but this? Had she known this would be where they would be in a few short months... she never would have thought anything of the sort.

“Promise me... promise me that if I sleep you will stay here, just like this.” With his arms around her, she felt safe and warm. With Sera pressed against her chest and the love of her life wrapped around her... nothing could drift away. He would be their anchor. Their rock; holding them together... “Promise me Bellamy...” her words were soft and her eyelids heavy. Her face was resting against the crook of his neck with her arm tight around Seraphina. “You’ll be here when I wake up...”

OWL