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Raven stood patiently waiting for the girl to remove the leg unsure what the holdup was until she finally spoke. “Oh right, yeah sure.” Immediately turning around she cursed herself for being insensitive...again. Raven didn’t deal well with awkwardness. Preferring confrontation a million times over uncomfortable silence. “Let me know when you’re done.” Folding her arms, she wanted to ease the girl’s mind. It couldn’t be easy having a prosthetic leg, Raven could barely deal with her own bum leg. Choosing distractions rather than actually thinking or dealing with it. The prosthetic raised many questions in her mind, like how she lost her leg in the first place. When she lost it. But she should probably get to know her better first before digging into her past like that. Nic hadn’t come here for a friend, she’d come here for a mechanic.

It’s not like Raven was completely comfortable with her own disability. It constantly left her feeling inadequate every time she needed to ask for help with completing the simplest of tasks. And she hated feeling inadequate. Credit it to arrogance or the competitive nature within her, but ever since her leg stopped working she’d been building up frustration that she sometimes found hard to subdue. The pain in her hip since the blast not exactly helping matters. Wasn’t it about time that stopped? So all in all, she was just as self-conscious about her own leg as Nic seemed about hers. “So is Nic short for something?” She asked hoping to make conversation and ease the tension. God, she really wasn’t good at this sort of thing.

“All good things I assume.” Raven said with a slight sarcastic undertone. Wringing her hands she leaned on the bench trying to keep them busy while she waited for her next drink. Anticipating the burn, welcoming it. What she received instead however, still left a bitter taste in her mouth only without the benefit of dulling her senses. Who even was this girl, and what made her think she could lecture Raven? “Hey, Gena,” she began, stressing on the two syllables of her name. “I don’t remember asking for your advice, I do however remember asking for another drink.” Her tone was low but sharp. She didn’t have a lot of patience these days. And it would take a lot more than one drink for her to start forgetting things so easily. “So either make with the alcohol now, or find me someone who will.”

Farm huh, that was they’d never met before. Raven rarely strayed from her station on the ark, perfectly content with all the gadgets and toys on her own station. At the sound of Mecha her ears perked up. “I’m from Mecha,” she said aloud but more to herself than to Gena. She didn’t have an awful lot of friends on account of her being too arrogant for her own good, but she was still glad to hear her station made it down. Damn, she really didn’t pay more attention to the goings on of the camp. Her head buried in fixing up the Rover. Maybe she should change that. Bringing her attention back to Gena, Raven gave her a small but sly smile. “I blow up a lot of things, it’s kinda what I do.” It was obvious what the other girl doing, or at least trying to do. But Raven couldn’t be distracted that easily. “Nice try, curly. But I’d like my drink now.” Yes, maybe she was being a little harsh. The girl probably meant well. However with the constant dull pain in her leg, she couldn't really concentrate on anything but numbing it.

A.L.I.E saved her from the excruciating and constant pain she’d suffered on a daily basis. That’s all that mattered really. She didn’t know why she hadn’t accepted the key to the city of light sooner. Who wouldn’t want to live in a land without pain, or heartbreak or even death itself? The city of light would be their own paradise. And she would do whatever it took to help get everyone there. A.L.I.E was their salvation and Raven would be eternally grateful for what she’d gifted her. So when she asked the young mechanic to help deal with a small problem on their way to the city of light Raven was more than happy to oblige. Whatever she needed.

Bellamy was a force of nature and a hell of a leader. People trusted him and followed him, so when he rejected the key, so many others did too. It wasn’t fair. They should be allowed to feel the euphoria and peace she was feeling. Bellamy’s attitude was depriving them of that right. She just couldn’t stand for it. She wouldn’t. And besides, she wasn’t really going to kill him. Not forever. Raven cared about him and wouldn’t allow any real harm to come to Bellamy. Death was no longer the end for any of them, A.L.I.E promised her that. Not in the city of light. And Raven trusted her of course, implicitly. He would understand eventually, but they didn’t have time for that now. She was doing this for his sake, for all their sakes.

Raven sat in her workshop, her hand resting on her now painless leg. No longer distracting her from the task at hand. Without the pain, Raven had gotten so much work done, so many new ideas forming in her mind. One idea that she was just beginning to perfect was a brand new weapon. Short range grenades with remote detonation. It was perfect for what she now needed to do. Just as she was about to thread a wire through one of the prototypes, the sound of footsteps forced her to freeze.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

Raven smiled at Clarke’s attempts to reassure her. And they worked mostly. But she couldn’t help but feel unease in this place, surrounded by unfamiliar things in an unfamiliar setting. The only thing keeping her calm was the one thing that was familiar. Clarke. But she would never feel truly comfortable here. “If you say so Clarke.” It wasn’t like Raven was in any position to really argue with her. The ceasefire was a product of the truce between them and the grounders but that didn’t mean the violence had stopped completely. She wasn’t so naïve to think every grounder would follow the rules…or every Arker. Perhaps even herself included.

“As long as when we do leave you’re coming with me, then I’m good.” She repeated, clearly making sure to remind Clarke of their deal. There was no way Raven would let her go back on her word. “It’s changed a lot you know.” With the people who came down with the ark, the population had grown, and with it the camp. If it was even a camp anymore. “You’d be pleasantly surprised.” Even in the short time since Mount Weather, the place was looking more and more like a real civilisation. “And I know a lot of people who’ll be pleasantly surprised to see you.” Though she was obviously talking about one person in particular. Bellamy hadn’t been the same since she’d left. None of them had. Though it might be wishful thinking, Raven hoped her return would be the next step in getting them all back into some state of normalcy.

Raven pushed the hair out of her face, quickly pulling it into a haphazard ponytail. Her heart beat hard in her chest, beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. She was nervous and scared but she had to do this. Her stomach grumbled again as if reminding her of her state of hunger. Usually she would wait for her mother to remember she existed but it had been too long. She hadn’t seen her mom in two days and her rations had disappeared along with her as usual. She could no longer just sit and wait and starve to death. Raven needed to take care of herself, she was old enough now, eight years old for goodness sake, perfectly old enough to live independently.

Poking her head around the junction of the hallway, she spotted the tray on a table in the hall. The owner of said tray had stood up and was distracted by someone he recognised. Now was her chance. It was a short window for her to grab the food and run, so she had to do it now. Swallowing hard, Raven willed her legs to move slowly and quietly. Her mouth already watering at the sight of the food, providing her with the incentive to go through with this. She didn’t want to steal but she had to. Her hand was so close, all she had to do was grab the food and run, but that was when she noticed the flaw in her plan. She hadn’t been fast enough. The man was about to turn around and spot her red handed. It was no secret what happened to people who stole, what happened to anyone who broke the law. Raven panicked, tears already stinging her eyes, praying for some sort of distraction to allow her to escape. Oh god, she was going to be floated.

Baby Raven

Tag: @collins

“Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.” Wise words. Words that definitely resonated with Raven on a deep level and were probably true for all the others as well. “Don’t we know it,” she said sighing. Her words heavy with exhaustion. They had their innocence taken away from them by the ground and the instinct to survive. It changed them all forcing them to do things, terrible things. And leaving them with blood on their hands. None of them were the same as they were on the ark. Finn…was the perfect example of how their experience on the ground could turn you into something you never dreamed you’d become. She shouldn’t have let him go in the state he was in. He was her best friend, she should have seen the signs, helped him somehow. Despite the hurt between them he was always there when she needed him.

“I know, Clarke.” She said approaching her. “You were…stronger than me.” Stronger. Was that the right word? If Raven had been in Clarke’s shoes, she’d have probably ruined the truce between them and the grounders. Damning their people in Mount Weather, not only getting herself killed but leaving Finn to be tortured in the most horrific ways. Hell the healing cuts on her body were proof of the grounders ruthlessness. There was no they could’ve saved him. That didn’t stop her thinking 'what if' though. She had a feeling those thoughts would haunt her for the rest of her life. “I just miss him…so much.” It came out as a whisper, Raven not noticing the words leaving her lips until she’d already spoke them.

Their people in Mount Weather. “You don’t have to worry about that.” Yes, she had to focus on the people she could actually help save. “Blowing stuff up is what I do.” A touch of familiar arrogance in her voice. “I’ll get started on fuel bombs, that damn mountain won’t survive me," she continued. "It won't survive us."

Bellamy was on the same page about getting revenge on the grounders it seemed. It was still unclear to her whether that was a good thing or not but it didn’t really matter. Not now anyway. The solidarity it provided made her feel better, or at least less alone. She didn’t have to hate them on her own anymore, or feel the need to suppress the burning anger and guilt she kept in the pit of her stomach for what felt like forever. Because now, she could see that Bellamy felt it too. It was selfish and probably counterproductive to grieving healthily, but what the hell did she know about grieving properly. It just wasn’t her, she couldn’t lie to him to make him feel better when she felt just as broken as he did. It was ironic that the person best suited to the job of helping both of them through this, was the reason they were both in this state. It would be funny if it wasn’t so damn tragic.

Raven thought nothing could add to her hatred, her anger, the pit of despair she’d been thrown into since she got to the ground. But as Bellamy spoke his next words, she realised she’d been dead wrong. It was safe to assume he was talking about the commander, Lexa. The girl who’d demanded Finn’s death in return for a truce that bitch broke anyway. And now they were what? “Following Lexa? Are they insane?” Her voice was raised and angry. It was just like Bellamy had said, nothing would change and they were doomed to be at the mercy of the grounders for what seemed like forever. “They can’t do that. Not again!” Her fist slammed on the table forcing her to stand up. It was like nobody understood logic. What’s to stop her from betraying them again. The grounders would never accept them as their own. The explosion at Mount Weather made that painfully obvious. And yet…"Clarke chose to stay, with her." Those words shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did. Or surprised her as much as they did. But dammit surely Clarke of all people should understand what they, what Lexa took from both of them. “How could she...” Raven felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her, sitting back down burying her head between her arms. But she had to appreciate Bellamy’s honesty. Grateful that he was being straight with her. She valued that.

Ordered not to retaliate. “Ordered?” Raven gave a short sarcastic laugh at that, looking up at Bellamy again. Like they were a bunch of lapdogs here to do the commander’s bidding. Not. Likely. “They can’t order us to do shit.” Raven was no one’s bitch, and certainly not Lexa’s of all people. “Gena? All those innocent people? And we’re just supposed to sit here and do nothing?” They were blown off the face of the Earth in the most ruthless way. They deserved justice. And the grounders deserved retribution. “God, I’d blow them all away if I had to.” It was all talk, mere speculation and maybe a little alcohol, taking another swig from the now almost empty bottle Raven continued. “If I wanted to.” And she did, she so did. But the fear of what the consequences would be for the rest of the camp kept her suggestions completely hypothetical. That didn’t make the bitter thoughts any less sweet though. The anger was a helpful distraction. But it wouldn’t last long. Raven was already resigned to the deep exhausting but oh so familiar grief that awaited her when she was alone.