May We, HarJar, Drink Again

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Jasper knew that when Harper replied to his suggestion, she wasn't serious, or at the very least, she thought he wasn't serious. And maybe the lighting things on fire part wasn't, but the running away part was actually tempting. He'd been running away so long. Pushing people away, drinking himself into oblivious... he'd started to think he was healing by the time he'd run from Arkadia with Raven, but in the end, he'd run again in taking the chip. Then considered putting bullet in his head, which also seemed fucking tempting again. He'd been telling himself it didn't matter why he'd gone out of his way to get a gun, but he knew deep down it was to use on himself. "Deal. I could probably find the beach to signal Luna's people," he muttered, though he appreciated the squeeze of her hand. "Not like she ever wants to see our faces again."

No, they'd made a mess of that too. They'd been followed by Alie's drones, and several people died... a few by Luna's own hands. They'd been shipped back to shore before they even knew it was coming. "I met this girl there, named Shay, and she was... fascinating." Shay had actually made him smile, a genuine smile, her story drawing her in to want to talk to her. Floukru seemed like a nice place to live, and Jasper sniffed hard again as the memory came back, the memory of the peaceful community they destroyed. "We killed her too." Indirectly, but it was still on them.

Tag: @harpermcintyre

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This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG Harper had heard about Luna and the rig and the peaceful grounder settlement although she hadn't been one of the ones to go there. From the stories she had heard of their trip, it sounded like an ideal place to be, peaceful, isolated and far from all the war that had been such a big part of Harper's -- and all the other delinquents -- life since arriving on the planet. Honestly, if Harper wasn't so committed and connected to everyone else in Arkadia, if she wasn't so reliant on training and her strength to keep her fear back, Harper might have looked at the peaceful grounder clan as an actual place to run away to. But he couldn't do that, in all her pain she couldn't leave everyone, even if the only person that Harper believed understood her pain right now was Jasper. "Probably kill us on sight." That could have been said with humor, if Harper was able to manage humor but it just came out as blunt as everything else she said. When Jasper started mentioning a girl, it surprised Harper. It definitely wasn't something she expected to hear from Jasper, mourning and drunk as he was. It surprised her enough to wiggle her head away from the sheets and use her free hand to wipe away tears -- even if all it did was spread the moisture across her face more than it already was. The change in conversation was something that could be good, something to distract Harper from her own thoughts and feelings. And if it was something positive, as much as Harper doubted it would be... well, maybe they needed something positive... Even Harper rolled her eyes at that thought. "How was sh-" Harper stopped, catching what Jasper said as she had spoke at the same time as him. No, she didn't need that sort of distraction. Another person dead who shouldn't have been. "Always the story. Everyone dies," Harper muttered, turning her head back into the sheets. @jasper420

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"Yeah, they do," Jasper agreed. He hadn't missed how Harper had lifted her head from the mattress, though, how she seemed interested for a moment about Shay. Maybe Harper needed to hear something positive. Jasper didn't think he could come up with much, but he could talk about the good things about Shay, for what little time he knew her. "She still saved us, though. The chipped guards shot her with an arrow, but apparently she dragged herself all the way to the cargo container Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia were locked in." She was brave, and tenacious, that much was for sure.

"She was a story teller. She was telling this story about escaping a shark attack when I first saw her," he added. Maybe they ought to be sharing memories about Monty, he thought, as long as they were remembering the dead. But Monty memories were far too painful right now, and would definitely have them both a sobbing mess before they got through even one. Shay was a much safer topic.

Tag: @harpermcintyre

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This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG Hearing about someone else, someone who wasn't Monty or anything like Monty was probably one of the best distractions Harper could get. Maybe it was wrong to be talking about someone else, maybe they should have been talking more about Monty but Harper knew there was no possible way for her to do that without crying herself dry. So, Harper really was glad when Jasper started talking about Shay and how she had saved them. Harper couldn't smile, she couldn't come anywhere close. It was a numb gladness, a relief to have the topic changed onto something that didn't hurt. "Some of them are so much better than us," Harper mumbled. Some people really don't deserve to die. Like Monty. Even with the topic pulled away from him, Harper's mind still found a connection, a way to rip her heart in smaller pieces and steal the oxygen from her lungs. God, it hurt. A gasping breath attempted to fill Harper's lungs again and she tried to focus herself on more of what Jasper was saying. He was giving life to someone, someone Harper never knew, someone she couldn't mourn and couldn't feel sad about losing. It took her an extra few moments to process the words that he said but when she did, Harper replied right away. "Tell me the story she told," she said, wanting to stay on this topic, on this person. Harper squeezed Jasper's hand to encourage him, and turned her face more against the sheets. Harper didn't think she had felt this calm since Monty had passed, her sobs stopped, her mind calm enough. There still wasn't enough air and her chest still ached but it was so much of an improvement, one Harper felt she didn't deserve. Or maybe it was the calm before a storm, and things would only get so much worse. @jasper420 || This seems shitty. YOLO.

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"Some of them are so much better than us." Jasper's mind went to Monty at those words, and tears stung Jasper's eyes. Harper must have felt it too, cause he heard her fight for breath for a moment. He let his own tears fall as he tightened his arm around her. It was easier to comfort her than it was to think about his own pain. "Memory's a bit fuzzy," he admitted when she asked for the story Shay told. At the time, he'd been fascinated, but so much happened in the immediate aftermath of meeting her that a lot of it slipped from his grasp.

He retold what he could remember, though. She had been a captivating story teller, and Jasper wasn't doing it justice. One more talented person that had been ripped from this world. He huffed an unhappy laugh when he finished. "Something like that. I asked her if it was true, and she said the story had changed over time." Why was he talking about Shay? How had she even come up?

Tag: @harpermcintyre