In The End, It Doesn't Even Matter

[blake]

Octavia Blake

---

I don't want to survive. I want to live.

---

O was livid! First her brother and Raven, and now Jasper, too! Everyone was so damn scared of the grounders that they wouldn't even look at the peace she and Finn had tried to bring to them! Worse, she was having trouble sneaking out because Bellamy knew she had been doing it now, and was watching her every move! Damn it! She was angry, and pissed, and livid, and other words she couldn't think on right now! Lincoln had risked EVERYTHING to try to help, and what thanks did he get?! An arrow! . . . . and she wasn't even sure he was alright! That hurt the worst right now. Not knowing what they might do to him for risking everything. Not knowing if he was alive.

Seeing @finncollins alone she walked toward him. He was really her only friend right now, because the others were idiots. He was by a fire alone, so she plopped down next to him, and spoke in a low voice. "We need to get out of camp. I need to make sure Lincoln is alright." Could he help her, or would he be as helpless as she was right now. She could feel her brother's lackeys watching them, which meant they might be trapped here. It was stupid! She was no more special then anyone else here but he had everyone ready to run tattle on her! She was supposed to have been pardoned by the Ark, but apparently she needed Bellamy's permission to breathe too now!

[Deleted]

Finn sat by the campfire warming himself against the dying sun. The outside voices from the rest of the Delinquents was getting too be a bit much. It was why he preferred to be outside. Out in the forest away from these obnoxious human beings. It was getting tense. He looked up from the fire as he held his palms out. He gave a look around, his face covered in a slight annoyance. He didn't understand why there always so... busy. Every one always had something to do. That one thing that forced them to move around like little ants in a hive. Jesus Christ. People. Just let live. He looked down at the flames, shaking his head in disbelief. Sure, there were Grounders out there hell-bent on killing, among other things. The heck was the point if you couldn't enjoy life. He had his knees hugged to his chest while the rest ran around like headless chickens. Give him a rifle and a defense post, and he would be good. But as of two hours ago, he was off for the rest of the night. Let someone else have a shift. He had done his part for the day. He watched the flames lick, dance, and fight for oxygen as another voice broke the cacophony. It was an argument over... who got to work. Are you serious? Hell, participating in the community was great. But arguing over something as simple-minded as a work shift was getting a bit ridiculous.

He was about to get up, when Octavia sat down. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. His hands were still held out. Anything would be better than having to sit here and listen to these idiots argue. So his face was covered in a get-me-the-hell-outta-here look of desperation. He couldn't believe that they had fallen from the stars to fall into this. THIS. Arguing over the dumbest thing. This was about survival, not seeing who could a job better. Well, he shouldn't really be talking. He would leave the leading and politics to Clarke and Bellamy. Even that one guy Murphy had things to say. If Finn had voiced his opinions, he would be no better than the rest of them. He didn't care either way which one was the friggin' leader. They could play follow the leader all they wanted, Finn was just fine by the fire. He rubbed his hands together as he looked on her face. She seemed distressed, and Finn was still a bit overwhelmed by what was happening around him, making the urge to be out there all the more powerful. He was about to ask her what was up, when she voiced her concern about Lincoln. She seemed a bit angry as well. Probably her brother telling her something she couldn't do again. Part of him wanted to get up and knock him out, but he was the leader after all. Instead, he made an impatient face as she told him about Lincoln.

He thought about pulling her into a hug to calm her down, they would find the guy, but she would probably claw his face off in utter rage. For as long as he had known her, he should know that blake wasn't just another pretty face. She had smarts, the will to fight, immense amounts of strength and will-power, and once she was on to something, there was no stopping her. Sure, was all that he said. Anything would be better than sitting here. It was true. He couldn't take any more of this inner-camp in-fighting. It was ridiculous to the utter extent of the definition. Besides, he wanted to help find Lincoln. He scooped up his rifle as he got to his feet. He liked that guy. Lincoln looked after Octavia. That was all that he could ever ask for. He brushed the dirt from his pants holding the rifle at his side by the upper mount. Looking for the guy was better than not doing anything and complaining after all. He glanced around. Still, idiots. All it took was for Octavia to sit down, express concern. Bam, solution gained. Then all it took was to handle their business. All while these dumb idiots stood around arguing. No wonder nobody got to any solutions. I wonder why things don't get done around this place. Finn turned, reached a hand down for Octavia. Let's go find Lincoln, darlin'. If he needs help, I am there.

[blake]

Octavia Blake

---

I don't want to survive. I want to live.

---

He said all the right words, and at first she felt glad that he was going to help her--even though she didn't know how they were going to get out of here with everyone always watching her every move. If she moved toward the gate, even with the guards distracted, then someone would be running to tell her brother. She was a traitor to them. She was the grounder lover. Ever since it had come out that she had helped Lincoln escape, she wasn't anyone's favorite anything. She knew they would rat her out in a moment. They'd run to her brother who would round up his little followers and they'd march after her and either drag her back before she could find Lincoln or worst find her after she had and get someone else killed.

So the reason she remained sitting, even with Finn saying he would help, wasn't because she didn't think he could, but because he had picked up something in his hands the she had never seen him pick up--a rifle. She expected to see it in her brothers, or in Jasper's or in anyone but his hands. He was a 'no guns' person, so she had to wonder why the hell he had it? "Why do you have that?" she asked in a surprised voice, not moving until he explained. She had helped train with them at first but now she wasn't so willing to touch them. They were why the bridge went wrong--because a jumpy Jasper had panicked and shot up the place. Why did he have it now?!

@finncollins

[Deleted]

Finn kept his hand out for Octavia. Until he was sure that she wouldn't take it. He pulled his arm back as she gave him that squinty eyed, suspicious look. He was being put on the spot, he knew in that moment, as she continued to sit. She looked up at him with a hint of anger. He knew how she felt when guns and Grounders were put into the same equation. He grimaced at the thought. Well done, you moron. He should have known that having a rifle around her was not going to end well. He allowed himself to sit. He sat cross-legged, planting the end of the rifle in the dirt. He hung his head as he thought of the words to explain himself. It was when he looked up at her soft features, which were still soft when she was angry, as his own face twisted in pain. An understanding that she didn't trust Skaikru who had guns. He couldn't feel a thing for himself. It was all numb. But when it came to his friends. Jesus. He scratched an itch on his neck, bringing his arm over the opposite shoulder. His face was still a twist of sorrow. He could say that he stole it. That would have only worked on the Ark. Down here, on this friggin' cold as hell rock, that wouldn't work. It wouldn't work with someone as smart as cunning as blake. He sighed softly. He knew she wouldn't budge. Trouble.

It was always trouble when Finn was involved. It's complicated, he began to say. I know how you feel about it, Octavia. I'm sorry that they had to be subjected to violence. To be honest, he didn't know where he was going with this. Her face seemed so brutal. This was brutal. Being put on the spot. It was going to be his undoing. Right now the only thing he needed to find was the honesty. He wasn't some little lying thief anymore. He cared. He cared about Octavia, and he could tell that having a rifle in her presence hurt her. The last hing I want is violence. You should know that. I want peace between us. Trikru. Our people. I want it more than going home. By home he was referring to the sky. He had hoped she understood his misnomer. That's no longer an option, Octavia. His face grew more stern, serious, harder. His eyes flashed with a cold darkness. He couldn't just go out there unprotected. Not with the rising tension between their people. He didn't want to make her more upset by saying that. I am not like you. I don't have that connection, the resources, with them. They would kill me as fast as I can blink. I don't bring this out with me. It's just a camp thing. Bellamy asked for my help to keep watch. he found himself pouting. He couldn't tell if that would make her more upset. Jesus Christ. This..

He felt bad for having a weapon even at all. It was true. The last thing he wanted was to incite more violence. He wasn't trying to pin the blame on Bellamy. But everyone knew about his dislike for the Grounders. He looked up at Octavia. He knew what he had to do. She wasn't going to move when he had a weapon. Lincoln was in trouble. He should have gave the weapon back when his shift was over. He had forgotten to log back out of the shift report and check the rifle back in. Bellamy was going to kill him for not being more responsible. He kept pouting as he kept Octavia's glare. He couldn't take this out with him. Not as long as he had her trust. Hey, he said, turning his head. One of the Delinquents came walking over. Finn stood, tossing the rifle over to him. The kid caught in both arms giving Finn a quizzical look. I forgot to check that back in with the armory. Do me a solid. the kid nodded at Finn and moved on. Finn watched him disappear among the rest of the camp dwellers. He turned back to Octavia with an understanding look. I am sorry you had to see that. Thankfully I never had to use that thing. I don't want to. The flashlight comes in handy, he rolled his shoulders with a shrug. Especially during the graveyard shifts. It keeps the wall secure, Bellamy off my back.

The rest of these idiots from questioning me. You can question me, cause I love you darlin'. Appearances. That was all it truly was. Finn, the kid without family. The loner. The one who liked to run alone. The lone wolf. They had so many names for him it had gotten unbelievable. He took a knee in front of Octavia. Then he was on both knees before her. Her soft face came between his hands. He didn't care what it looked like. If Bellamy had something to say, then let him freakin' say it. Right now he was more concerned about Octavia's mental health then Bellamy's overprotection issues. He brought her face close to his. Until he pecked her on the lips. A quick, stout, understanding peck. He kept her face in his hands as he said, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, you know that right? At least he hoped that she did. He hated hurting her. He took her hand in his letting her palm lay against his as he interlaced their fingers. This wasn't the place. Something was saying inside him. But he had to let her know. He found his eyes looking down at their hands. It felt wrong. These hands were made for Lincoln to hold. Someone they had to find. But he couldn't let go of her hand. I'm with you., he said firmly. Right now they needed to figure out a way to get out of camp unseen. Last thing they needed.

Let's bring Lincoln home,.