Storms Ahead

[Thalia Tait]

It was raining and cold and there was very little light to the day. Autumn was a difficult mistress to enjoy when it was raining and you were not allow outside the camp. Usually she liked the rain. It was being caged in the camp she didn't like. Thalia sighed, chin resting on her palm as she looked out the small opening in her tent. Well, not really just hers. It was his too, though these days you'd think Pike was stamping Bellamy's name on half of everything just to get Bellamy's Army to follow behind him. 

And, just like a guy, he was lapping up all of Pike's schmoozing. Though that might not be fair. Thalia could understand the appeal of their former teacher in Earth studies. He presented himself like the father figure many of the delinquents were deprived of. Including her. But she could see through his words.

What were they going to do? Kill every single Grounder in the entire world? That was no plan to survive. That was insane! So why couldn't the rest of them see that? Well, because they were all blinded with the desire for revenge. What was it the Grounder's said? 'Blood Must Have Blood'? Well, that just led to the slaughter of hundreds, now didn't it? And what was left when they finally quenched their thirst for blood? Nothing. The pain was always there, no matter  if they got their vengeance or not.

The pale freckled girl looked out at the rain, letting out another sigh. Her wild hair was tamed back in a leather band, the cold air biting her cheeks, lips and nose into a rosy color. And she still wore the jumpsuit she had landed on Earth in, along with the boots. With a few patches here and there of course, along with a few modifications for her own person style. Bellamy had helped her with those actually, since he was the son of a seamstress and tailor. 

Where was he anyway? Probably out trailing after Pike. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she let out a frustrated groan. Maybe she could say something to Bellamy. Make him see that the ever charismatic warlord was really just a dictator, like the ones from Mount Weather's many history books. Thalia, irritated and cold, sulked a bit, waiting for the very late Bellamy Blake .

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Thalia Tait

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy had told Pike that they had gone too far . . . but what they had done was necessary. Just like committing genocide at Mount Weather was necessary. Those grounders out there were a direct threat. They had slaughtered his people before, left them for dead, betrayed them . . . why the hell should they believe otherwise now? They were just as likely to kill them . . . in fact, more likely to kill them if one took a lesson from history. And well, history taught a great deal. Bellamy couldn't ignore that. Unlike Clarke. Unlike Kane. He couldn't dismiss their actions. And he hadn't.

By taking part in destroying the army, he had become a part of protecting is people. Doing what was necessary, no matter the cost. Pike was doing his best to secure a future for them all and well, how could Bellamy not support that? Tensions were high among a few of them, and right now, Bellamy was offered a bit of time to rest for the rest of the night. Time with his partner, Thalia, had not been in as much abundance as he would have liked recently.

 He hoped to somewhat make up for that now. Making his way into their shared room, he opened the door, locking it behind them with the hopes that they would not be disturbed. He immediately saw her looking out the small window and proceeded to take off his jacket, hanging it on the hook before approaching her. "Hey," he greeted, placing a light kiss on the top of her head. He didn't know where her suppots lay . . . but he supposed he was going to find out quite soon.

[Thalia Tait]

Thalia rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand after a moment of hearing him come in. What... Just what should she say? 'Sweetling, I love you more than the breath in my lungs, but I am too ticked to look at you right now?' No way. She couldn't say something like that to him. Well, that and she very much did like to look at him. His eyes, specifically. She loved his eyes, even when she was mad at him. And he had cracks in his protective shell that were just too deep to dig into, even when angry. That and it always sort of melted her anger when he kissed her head like that.

Looking at him, Thalia turned her face up to him like a flower who's bloom still shiver in the shade. Well, if she was a flower, she was an incredibly average flower. Maybe like a weed's flower, like a thistle or dandelion. That made sense. She was rather tough like one too, though she didn't look it. Or act it. Finally, she turned her entire body towards him, deep eyes searching, examining, probing... Like an analyzist with a particularly puzzling problem before them. It was a look she often took on when upset (not 'angry' per-say, just very upset) with someone. 

"I don't like him, Bellamy," she said bluntly, in that soft and gentle voice of hers, "I don't like the way he thinks. I don't like the way he does things. And especially don't like how he gets you to do his dirty work."

There she had said it. That guy who was named after a fish with a carnivore's teeth could end up deciding to take a bite out of her just for uttering those words. But that was also the problem. No one should ever have to fear for their well-being when saying their very polite opinion. Folding her hands together, she looked down at the entertained fingers with a knitted brow. Troubling... The entire situation was making her so anxious it made her stomach tie in knots. 

But she shouldn't be saying such things just as soon as he came through the door. They hadn't seen one another in a while. She could at least greet him. Let him relax. Not just unleash a hurricane on him as soon as he walked through the door. With a sigh, she stood and gave him a hug. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just let all that out," she murmured into his shoulder, "Let me start over: 'Welcome home.'" Burying her face into him, she hugged him a bit tighter. "You've worked hard," she let go and raised a hand to smooth the hair away from his forehead, "I missed seeing you."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Thalia Tait

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Thalia's first spoken words revealed all. And the next ones that followed gave further detail. She wasn't a fan of Pike. There was a small minority in Arkadia who were not supportive of Pike or his views. But the fact that he was elected, by such a vast number . . . indicated that majority of the support was for him. Bellamy didn't want to start an argument, but he also knew that their opposing views could cause strain to their relationship. It was already causing strain to Bellamy's relationship with Kane. And he hated that.

He certainly didn't want to lose Thalia over this either. Though he felt that wave of hope wash over him when she stood him, embracing him, an action that Bellamy immediately reciprocated as he wrapped his arms around her. He nestled his face against her head, taking in the feeling of her in his arms, and her soothing scent. "I missed you too," he told her, wanting her to know that. Wherever this conversation may lead, he wanted her to know how much he missed her.

He knew that this was not something that they could ignore; discussing it or not, it could take a toll and he didn't want to lose Thalia over this. "I believe in what he's trying to do." Secure a future for their people. And he was doing it without having to submit to Grounders and once again, place their trust in them or follow a Commander who left them for dead. Drawing his head back, he looked at Thalia, his expression softening a little.

 "I know it's hard to see that," he told her, aware that some were not exactly sure of Pike's . . . extreme actions. "But I've always done what I thought was best for our people. You don't have to trust him. Just trust me." Bellamy wouldn't have sided with Pike if he felt it was going to compromise Bellamy's efforts to protect his own people. "Can you do that?" He asked with a slight smile, his hand going to her cheek to gently caressing it, brushing away a loose strand of hair.

[Thalia Tait]

Thalia opened her eyes, brows pressed into a troubled knot as the two embraced. All the warmth that surrounded them, it felt like that man was threatening to worm his way in. To drill a hole between them and rot them out. She swallowed hard. They weren't going to ever agree on this, were they? She closed her eyes tight, ignoring their sting, and her fingers clenched slowly, gripping into his shirt. 

Pike was like a virus. He slipped his way into people's mind, polluting them with terror when he knew there was enough fear in the lake to destroy the dam of common sense they still held to. Just an  extra drop of fear, an extra drop of terror and the dam would surely break. Leaving their minds scattered and easy to manipulate. He was just as his name suggested: a fearsome horrible nightmare of one slippery fish. A predator.

And he even had Bellamy... Thalia felt him draw back and she opened her eyes, looking up at the gentleness that shone down on her. His eyes were warm but cautious and his smile was set in a rather anxious way, where one corner was up higher than the other. He said he believed in what that man was trying to do. Well, she could understand that. On the outside, it seemed tempestuous. A utopia were everyone from the Ark lived unmolested, without fear, till a ripe old age on the ground under the open sky and in the sunshine. 

It was a beautiful image. An image that was as false as Poison Sumac. A beautiful blossom that distracted from the deadly poison of the rest of the plant. An animal would be draw in by the lovely purple colored bloom, only to eat too much, down to the greens, and die a slow and painful death. And even Bellamy was being drawn in by that beautiful falsehood. Her eyes dropped down as he caressed her cheek. "You know I trust you Bellamy," she whispered softly, putting her hand over his before looking up at him, "It's him I don't trust."

"He won't ever be satisfied!" Thalia's expression crumbled, "Do you really think killing every Grounder is going to solve anything?" She wasn't really asking, but begging him to understand, "You can't kill everyone on the planet who doesn't look, act or think like you!" She separated herself from him, shoving a frustrated hand through her wild hair and letting it loose. "Even if it were possible! Even if you could kill ever single Grounder on the entire Earth! What would become of everyone left?" she asked, starting to pace, "Would we revert back to what we did on the Ark?!
'Oh they broke my precious thing.'
 'That's alright. Let's just execute them!'  
'Well, he lied to me last night!'  
'No problem, just execute them!'  
'Oh they stole medicine that would save their father's life!'  
'That's fine, just execute them!'"

Thalia whirled around on him, clutching her arms, "You kill one group, you'll justify killing another and another and another, till there is nothing left!" She looked at him with red-ringed stinging eyes, threatening frighten tears. 

"It wouldn't stop with just one group of Grounders, Bellamy," she said hoarsely, "He won't stop with a small group of Grounder warriors. Or even their leader's group. A thirst for power and blood is never quenched, no matter how much death it devours." Shaking her head, she turned her back to him. Trembling she tried to hold herself together. But the thought of such a future was terrifying. It was pure terror. An unnatural nightmare. 

"He'd kill every single one of them, man, woman, child, babe..." 


"And then he'd kill everyone who dared oppose him."


"Just like an Old World dictator."


She looked up. 


"I can't ever put my trust in a man who'd destroy everything I love, absolutely everything, even his own people, to get what he wants."


She looked at him.


"I can't trust a man who'd take you away from me and destroy you."


Whether he considered it all fearful babbling or actually took some merit to it all, Thalia dropped onto the edge of the bed. Putting her hand on her head, she rubbed it slowly. She looked tired and restless. Like someone who was going stir-crazy.  And being trapped under the diehard Pike support, not being allowed out of the camp, was driving her near wild. With a shuddering breath, she let out a soft whisper. 
"I can't lose you too."

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Thalia Tait
Notes: sorry for the length! bell had a looot to say!

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy silently listened to her, but the more she spoke . . . the more abundantly clear it was that she didn't understand the circumstances. And he felt disappointed by that. He expected her of all people to understand. Someone who had been among the original 100. Someone who had been inside Mount Weather, who had helped him through the committing of genocide to save their people. Someone who had seen the aftermath of what trusting Echo had done. But no. For some reason, she like Clarke and Kane and Abby someone forgave the Grounders for all they had done to their people. Was it so much easier to villianize Pike than the grounders? How, Bellamy would never understand. And he felt more hurt by her accusations than angry.

"Who said anything about killing every Grounder?" He questioned. "This has nothing to do with killing people who don't look like us or think like us." It had nothing to do with the cultural differences more than the politics and fact that Grounders were direct enemies. "They started this. They attacked us when we first landed. They killed fifteen children and so many more when Farm landed." But for some reason, his people's deaths were so dismissed by others. What had Kane called it . . . 'collateral damage in a war against Lexa'. Well, that wasn't good enough for Bellamy. And it wasn't good enough for their people which was why Kane had lost the election.

"We tried to make peace with them. We trusted them, time and time again. And it always costs us our people's lives. You may be ok with that, but I'm not. And neither is Pike." His views on that were strong; how many more Arkers had to die until the others realized that the Grounders would keep betraying them and targeting them. Bellamy lowered his hold on her when she called Pike a dictator; the very term so wrong. Pike was the only Chancellor on the ground who was elected. The only one who had formed a council. The only one who followed the laws of the Exodus without favortism. If anything, Abby and Kane were closer to dictators with their passing of the Chancellor's pin without an election. With their decisions to commit their people to the coalition and hide it from everyone else. That was why they lost the support of the people. It was why they had lost Bellamy's support.

"Pike is willing to protect us. Fight for us. Secure a future with us. He might be extreme, but he's not a dictator. Dictators don't get elected and win like he did." He also knew that the words Thalia was saying were dangerous. Especially if they left these walls. It was treason, and crimes like this were punished. Just like Abby had punished those who opposed her; just like Kane had executed punishment for those who defied the laws. "But you're willing to accept the Grounders, people who have already caused us to lose so many?" he didn't understand. But then the others weren't living with the blood on their hands. He was. And he couldn't just continue to appease the grounders when he had fought for them, and their people had died because of them.

"That army was just as likely to kill us." How could they trust an army under the leadership of a Commander who had betrayed them and left them all for dead? "Pike wasn't willing to wait until it was too late. And for good reason." The Grounders had done nothing for him, and Bellamy's emotional state over all they had lost . . . was prompting him to feel compelled to protect his people in this way. "It's not a thirst for power," he corrected. "It's not blood lust." Unlike what it always had been for the grounders. It was about protecting them . . . Pike had no other motives. He hadn't even considered running for Chancellorship until one of his men suggested doing so. It wasn't a power trip. His intentions were clear. And he wasn't sneaking around to get it done.

"He would give his life to protect us. He'll fight for us. And so will I." Bellamy didn't believe he would attack his own people; not so long as they remained under the law . . . just like every Chancellor ensured. That, was nothing new. "You won't lose me, Thalia. Not to this." He looked at her with soft intent, begging her to open her eyes to the reality of the Grounders. To the war that they had constantly been at since the moment they landed. "We almost lost each other to the Grounders. And losing you to them, is not a risk I'm willing to take." Maybe she was. Maybe Kane, and Clarke, and Abby were. But he wasn't. And at least Pike, understood that.

[Thalia Tait]

Thalia looked up at Bellamy. Strong and sure Bellamy. Always so stubborn. Always so ready for action. A fortress build in lovely stone, with treasure inside that she had only ever glimpse at through the windows of his eyes. Her wide eyes looked up at him, hands helpless in her lap. She was so scared. Could they really afford war with people who had been on the Earth for generation that the Arkers had been sheltered up in the sky? These people knew so many things that they did not. They could survive out there in the wilds, for Nova sake... 

She didn't want to lose him, or anyone else. Not anymore. She needed everyone she was generously given. Her eyes were wide and glassy, but they never spilled a tear. Perhaps they'd turn red or even stay swallow into the next day, but she hardly ever let anyone at all she her cry. "Isn't that what war is?" she asked, "The people in the Old World almost destroyed the Earth with all their wars. What happens if we enter into one?" She looked down at her hands, her dark curls spilling over her shoulders. Turning her hands over, examining each nail, each light freckle, each pattern in her skin... "Who's to say it won't lead to another and another?"

"We've been lucky so far, against those people," she looked up at him, "But they only way they will ever stop, if we enter into a war, is if every last one of them dies." She pressed her nails to her mouth, and looked out the window again. "Like a nightmare, they'll keep coming back," she whispered. Thalia knew about nightmares and she knew he did too. They used to be tame, her nightmares. But with every day on the earth, every beautiful memory she created, a thorny weed of fear grew too. This was the world of Earth. You could never have something good without it chipping in something bad too.

"To them, we started it," she looked back at Bellamy, her mouth moving quickly, before she stood and knotted her fingers together, "We came from no where, landing in their backyard, taking their water and food." She rubbed her forehead, running her hand through her hair. "Like a horrible new vermin, we just showed up and pestered them... If it happened to us, who's to say we wouldn't have reacted just like them?" He said they had tried to make peace, but she knew it had always been foiled with suspicion, anger, hate, and fear on both side. It always was. Those thorns always choked out anything good if they were allowed to grow. 

"Oh, Bellamy, don't say I am okay with so many of our friends dying!" she cried out at him, turning her glassy eyes on his pained ones, "I can't stand anyone dying, you know that!" Her chest was aching and it felt like she couldn't breath from all this arguing. They weren't going to agree. They'd never agree on this. Bellamy was just so strong and sure. And she was... She was... Well, she was just so unsure! It didn't sit well in her stomach, all of what was being decided. War. Not just the fighting from before with just a small group of Grounders, or even the battle for survival in Mount Weather, but real every ounce of blood, violence and death War. Every single ground would come down on them like a never ending acid rain. She turned pale and shuddered at the thought.

"All of them will try to kill us now, Bellamy," she whispered with a far off look in her face, "Every single one of them. And you won't get them off-guard this time around." Thalia felt sick. Sick to her stomach. Her hand clenched her shirt right over her fluttering, roiling stomach. Bellamy was so sure. So strong and so sure. But she just couldn't trust anyone who held power over so much. All leaders before had disappointed. What would make this one any different. And if he ordered Bellamy to go out there and get himself killed, Bellamy was loyal enough to-

"I can't lose you too," she whispered again, pale and frail looking. Thalia rushed at him, throwing her arms around his neck. She buried her face into his neck. He was warm. He was alive. He was all that was left. But this war would surely claw for his life. No. No, she couldn't let it take him away. She wanted to blame it on Pike, but it was just the idea of such a large scale war that terrified her. There had been nothing like this in their lifetime before, not on this scale, so how could she just accept that everything would be fine? Because it wouldn't. People would be dropping all around them. Who's to say it wouldn't drop Bellamy Blake too?

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Thalia Tait

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy felt his heart ache with each passing remark. Each attempt to justify the Grounders betrayals. He couldn't listen to it. But then . . . so many others didn't understand. Kane, Abby, Clarke, Octavia, and now Thalia apparently. What Bellamy had been forced to do; the burdens he'd been forced to bare each time they trusted the grounders, and the repercussions of their betrayal. "We're not entering anything," he began to tell her.

"We've been at war since we landed." To think that the ceasefire was true peace, was utterly naive. Bellamy had never believed that it would last. Despite the ceasefire, their people were still hunted. Clarke, had still been hunted. Sought after. Azgeda clearly held no agreement in the ceasefire, and that was where farm station had also suffered at their hand. Hell, it wasn't even just the delinquents who were at war since landing. Farm station had also been victim to the cruelty of Grounders. Their chldren slaughtered.

And yet, Thalia claimed justification for the fact that they started it? Bellamy couldn't remain silent. "We weren't lucky," he told her bluntly, trying to numb himself to the pain but it was to no avail. "We lost so many people because of them. They murdered our people in Mount Weather. They let a bomb fall on a village filled with our own. We . . . " He paused, correcting his statement because there was no we.

He could not lean on Thalia because those who could not understand his need to protect others, did not understand the weight that genocide held on him. "I murdered innocent people, children, because of their betrayal." People who had trusted him, who had fought for them and his people. But that was somehow acceptable. That so many died because of their manipulation. Bellamy slightly shook his head, turning away from her, the sting of tears forming in his eyes as the images of all those dead bodies re-emerged in his mind. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he turned to face her again once his eyes were opened, forcing the tears to stay back.

"We didn't harm them. And we didn't have a choice. Do you think our people deserved to die because we were forced to the ground, trying to survive?" By 'taking their water and food'? No. Bellamy couldn't accept this. They had a right to be here, and they had not once attacked the Grounders. They had not once initiated violence against them with the intentional means of killing them. Not until they attacked the threatening army that had recently surrounded them.

Bellamy didn't believe they would have done the same. Their people were not brought up on violence. They didn't willingly send children into war, and then blame the enemy when they died. No. It had been his people who tried to make peace, constantly offering deals, giving into the terms demanded of them -- not matter the sacrifice or cost. Constantly betrayed. And yet, they were the vermin? Bellamy hated to upset the people he cared about, but also knew when his emotions got the better of him . . . he never held back.

 "They've always come after us Thalia. Nothing's changed. Only this time, we struck them before they could us. We didn't wait for them to hit us first." And it was necessary, what they did. A body count to be added on Bellamy's conscious, but he had killed those who were more innocent than the threat of Grounder warriors who would undoubtedly kill them like sheep following a Heda's command. Bellamy froze when he felt Thalia wrap her arms around his neck. He clenched his jaw, closing his eyes, basking in the closeness of her body, everything about her that often comforted him.

That often got him through the darkest of times. This was another dark time, and he feared what it would do to them. His devotion to her unwavering. His love for her unconditional. But . . . would how she felt for him be enough with their opposing views and mindset? He slowly raised his hands to wrap around her, turning his head, nestling his face in the crook of her neck. "I can't lose you either. I just, need you to trust me on this." As he had said before and she had expressed her distrust was for Pike. "I'm doing what I have to do, to protect us. To protect our people. I do that every day, and nothing has changed my focus." Nothing ever would, because he lived and breathed for his people. And Thalia, was among them.

[Thalia Tait]

"Not a war like this one..." she whispered softly, "A war with a single group of them was bad...Nightmarish. But with all  of them? They'd wipe us out, Bellamy." Thalia could see the nightmare future in her mind. She could see them hiding in the night, flying through the tree, throwing spears from yards away... Like hunters preying on arrogant bucks. Maybe they could take down some of them, but all of the Grounders? No way. Not possible. These people had survived Earth living  for generations. They had survived one another! Thalia could see the vast disadvantage her and the Arkers were at. 

They didn't even know if they'd get through a single winter on Earth, much less winter with a Grounder full-scale war hounding down on them? No. It would be possible for her or people like her to survive. The most skilled of the guards would be sent to battle after battle and when there were none of them left, the sturdy and strong would go. And they would die out. And if this lasted well into the dead of winter, which Grounders knew how to survive, the rest of who was left would be left with what? Some guns, half cocked and jammed and poorly aimed? Mines that may or may not go off? Electricity that could run out? Then what? The Grounders would easily pick everyone left off. Without their weapons and without a grasp of what living through winter was like, they'd all be eliminated.

The only question was how long would it all take? Would it be a fast death, with the innumerable highly skilled warriors the Grounders bred from the time they were little children? Or would it be a slow picking off, driving half to madness before starvation or the elements could take their lives? The Grounders could send in population cutting illnesses, for Nova sake! Why did no one see how absolutely impossible it would be to win against these people?! Surely Bellamy and what was left of the 100 would have understood, seeing all that they had seen. It hurt so much, this heartbreak rift torn between her and Bellamy, but she simply didn't understand how he couldn't see it. The nightmare they had lived turning into a night terror one couldn't wake up from. Till death put them in the cold hard ground.

"We're lucky only a few of their groups want us wiped off the face of the Earth," she whispered, "We're lucky to be breathing right now." This was her truth. Without breath, without food, without safety, and without warmth Thalia wouldn't exist. Without Bellamy and what was left of the 100, Thalia wouldn't live. She had learned the difference between those two words. Existing was something even the plants and animals could do. The wind, fire and water could even mimic it. But to live. To truly be considering a living creature, she needed the few fine threads of love that held her there. Without these precious people she had left... That void of space might as well have swallowed her peacefully that the horrible monstrous consumption Earth living without them all would.

"You've done everything in your power and beyond to keep us alive," she focused those eyes on him, their depths clear in speaking such familiar words, "You've given everything, absolutely everything, for us, Bellamy." She was strong in these words. These were stone certainties. These were absolute truths. But this possible full-scale war held no certainty for her. Trusting Pike was as instinctual to her as eating nightshade or letting a Grounder walk up and cut out her heart. She put her hands on his cheeks, brushing the trail of wetness there with her thumb. Her eyes examined him. Compiled all she knew about him, broke it all down and then put it back together. He had always been there for them. Protected them, in anyway he knew how. And while he hadn't always been right, being human, flawed and imperfect, he sought perfection for them, the 100. For her and their friends. Sought the impossible in himself to help as many survive the nightmares of Earth. 

She kissed that cheek, the fading trail that was evidence of the amount of scars within his heart and head. She kissed his brow, that seemed to become more heavy with everyday of living with those lives in his hands and ghosts at his back. She kissed the corner of his mouth, dejected and speaking words that grew the distance between the two of them. But would she let it sail them apart from one another? All these uncertainties in the future. These unprovable suspicions revolving around just another leader who'd be replaced one day with another. Could she live with such consequences? Thalia drew back and looked at him. Really tried to look at him. See him.

"I guess....if I am breathing...I exist," she started slowly, "But...you know. The only time I really know I'm alive if when you're around."

He asked her to trust him. Not Pike. Not Marcus. Just him. And Bellamy hadn't changed. He wasn't battling for power or for the acceptance of their people. He simply battled to keep what was left of them alive. If he was sung a hero or if he was slandered as a villain, he never wavered from his undying devotion to their lives. To keep their heart beating, so that someday they wouldn't ache. So that someday they would burn with hate. Bellamy would crumble into complete and utter self-destruction. All for them. The 'them' she was included in. And she so ungratefully railed against him and for what reason? Because she had different political views? Because she couldn't understand the burden being soldier and protector came with? She was so small-minded... So greedy and ungrateful... Bellamy would give absolutely everything he was made of for the survival of their people. And she.... She... She was just leech that fed of something so pure and beautiful that it would welcome its own complete destruction. 

"Please...." she lowered her eyes, then put her head to his chest, "forget I said anything at all..." She closed her eyes and thread her fingers absently through his hair. The sound of his heart beating... There was nothing more precious that she could treasure in all the world. "Being by your side," she sounded tired and resigned to her own thoughts, but just as self-loathing as anyone who realized how terrible they were treating their most loved one could, "It's the best thing ever. And I wouldn't give it up for anything or anyone." Thalia opened her eyes slowly. "I am sorry I am so weak, Bellamy," she clutched at the shirt on his back with her other hand, "I am weak to fear. And the thought of losing you is what I fear the most."