Blaking Out the Trash

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

Bellamy could see his smile drop a little, though subtly, as he brought one back. It did make the older male realize his words. The shortness of them. He hated that this was who he had become. Where he was once able to have meals with others on dates, however remaining non committal, had at least been able to hold a conversation. Had been able to relax more. It wasn't even Bryan's presence that made him uncomfortable. Everything about the man could put him at ease. If he let him.

"You seem fine with dates," Bellamy offered. He knew what he meant by dates in relation to history, but he was playing a bit with the words. Trying to bring his thoughts to voice. "I'm just, not the best company right now," he admitted, holding eye contact with Bryan this time instead of averting his gaze to his food. "I didn't exactly become a janitor for my strong social skills," he added on, a bit of a tease toward himself though it was true. Maybe he could set aside his own . . . issues, for the sake of tonight. For the sake of not forcing the smile off Bryan's lips. "How many more years of studying do you have?" Bellamy asked, a bit of a way of asking how old he was, in effort to get to know him. Trying to display this effort through his question, and the way he had asked it. Genuine intrigue.

[Deleted]

Bryan huffed a breath that was something of a laugh when Bellamy said he was good with dates, shaking his head, but he felt his smile widen. Bellamy was confirming this was a date, after all. That he saw it as a date too. Bryan did wonder why Bellamy had agreed to a date when he admitted himself that he wasn't good company right now, but maybe Bellamy was trying to get out of whatever funk he'd been in. Maybe Bryan could help, if Bellamy let him. "A little over a year," Bryan answered, then his lips quirked to the side and he added, "Unless I screw up."

He took another bite of his food and chewed. "Why did you become a janitor, social skills aside?" Bryan asked. He hoped it wasn't a touchy subject. Sanitation wasn't a field a lot of people dreamed of doing, and Bryan knew sometimes people got stuck places they hadn't wanted to be. But there wasn't anything wrong with being a janitor, so Bryan's gaze didn't hold any judgment.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

Bellamy took another bite of food as Bryan explained that he had a little over a year left; unless he screwed up. Bellamy didn't know Bryan enough to assure him that he wouldn't. And he wasn't one to coddle people by telling them what they wanted to hear. "As long as you enjoy what you're doing, which sounds like you do, then you'll be fine." If one had the passion and required drive . . . then there was a better chance that they would excel in their field. It was why Bellamy had been able to do well as a Guard. His family had been his motivation. Hell of a way that turned out. Bryan's next question however caused him to briefly pause, slightly clenching his jaw at it. He knew that his situation wasn't a well guarded secret -- no pun intended.

Some knew of the Blakes, some didn't. Judging from Bryan's question, maybe he was one who didn't know. Bellamy's gaze fixed on his food, not that he was really looking at it. His mind was turning with ways to answer his question, without delving deep into the details of his situation. Slowly raising his eyes to meet Bryan's once more, he answered. "It's all I could get." It wasn't a full on lie. It really was the only option he had with the way he had been demoted and his files stained with his crimes. Not punishable by death apparently, but maybe his life was the ultimate punishment. "I'm not exactly from a privileged background," he added on, his words holding no shame for it. It wasn't that he wished he was privileged, but he did wish he could have provided a better life for Octavia. Maybe those were two different things, and yet, maybe they weren't at all.

[Deleted]

Bryan could tell by the way Bellamy reacted to the question that it was a sore subject. He waited for Bellamy to look back up at him, listening to his answer. When Bellamy finished, Bryan shrugged lightly, offering a small smile, and said, "Neither am I." It was true he had a job he liked, for the most part, but farming wasn't exactly a prestigious field, and Bryan had spent his entire life on Farm Station. "There's nothing wrong with being a janitor," he added, his tone casual. He wasn't really offering Bellamy reassurance, because it didn't look like Bellamy needed that. He was more just stating a fact.

He looked down at his plate, surprised that it was starting to look a little empty. Had they been talking that long, or had Bryan been filling silences with food. "Do you do anything else for fun, other than reading history books?" he asked, his tne lightly teasing.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

When Bryan reassured Bellamy that there was nothing wrong with being a janitor, after to revealing his own less than privileged background . . . Bellamy just took another bite of food. He knew that he would have more in common with someone who wasn't privileged, and it was easier to feel more comfortable with someone with less of a class divide between them. Though, Bellamy had not been in the company of many who were privileged. Only during his time in the guard and its required schooling. Relieved for the change in topic, though not by much because it was still personal . . . Bellamy knew that he should offer up an answer.

Bryan's tone almost seemed teasing and once again, the older male was appreciative of that, even if he wasn't doing a good job showing it. "Not really," he admitted. Any fun, any semblance of enjoyment . . . often left him guilt ridden. That included sex, but he was desperate for any sort of time he could find, not thinking about what he had done to his family. It was always selfish, but he did it anyway.

"I guess this would count as something fun," he said with a slight shrug, a flicker of a tease in his gaze and tone, though the smile didn't quite touch his lips as he looked at Bryan. "What about you? You do this for fun often, or do you have other stuff that you consider more entertaining?" Apart from what he told him he did in his spare time that was. Taking another bite of his food, he was nearing the end of it . . . which meant they could soon move things along.

[Deleted]

Bellamy still hadn't smiled, but there was something in the way he looked at Bryan when he said this counted as fun that seemed a little teasing or amused. Maybe Bryan was imagining it, but his smile widened anyway. "This is you having fun?" he teased again. "I'm shocked," he continued, but he didn't want to push it too much. He felt like he might be making progress, but he still didn't know Bellamy that well. There were obviously touchy spots with Bellamy.

Byran pushed his food around on his plate, not wanting to finish because he didn't want this to end just yet. "I can't really remember the last date I was on." He'd been on a few that hadn't worked out, but this one felt different. Maybe it was just that this was the first time he had done the asking out part himself. "Not for any reason, really. I just don't put myself out there a lot. I stay in my bubble." But maybe he needed less of that. Maybe that was part of why Bellamy intrigued him so much.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

The threat of smiling was inching closer and closer, though did not yet touch his lips. Bellamy hadn't imagined the expression would come much -- if at all -- after the loss of his mother and arrest of his sister. But he had been drawn to Bryan and his smile for a reason. Perhaps, deep down, he longed for it. Even if he could never grant himself the emotions of happiness it could bring. Still, there was a flicker of it in his expression, quickly faded as he dropped his gaze to his food. He noticed from the corner of his eye that Bryan's meal was coming to an end. Good.

Meant they could get out of here and find a better use for their mouths apart from talking. He listened to Bryan explain that he couldn't remember the last date he had been on . . . that he didn't put himself out there that much. That, surprised Bellamy. He casually raised his eyes to meet the male opposite of him. "What made you want to go on one now?" He asked curiously, this time no forced question, but rather, genuine intrigue as to the reason.

What the hell could be so appealing about Bellamy that made Bryan step outside what seemed to be his comfort zone and asking someone out. "Pretty sure it wasn't the uniform," he added on as a bit of a joke. "Not that I'm complaining. Just wondering." He didn't want Bryan to think his question was rejecting of this arrangement. Besides, they hadn't even got to the really good part yet.

[Deleted]

Still no smile, but there was a flicker in Bellamy's expression that still left Bryan feeling hopeful. He took his last bite of food regretfully, as he pondered how to answer Bellamy's question. He laughed, though, when Bellamy suggested it wasn't the uniform. "Definitely not the uniform," he said, grinning.

He really didn't know why he'd asked Bellamy out. He didn't think Bellamy needed to know how much he wanted to get Bellamy to smile. "I just... maybe I just needed to shake things up a little. Farm station isn't exactly a party all the time." He huffed a laugh, hoping Bellamy didn't take his words to mean he'd asked Bellamy out because he was bored. "And you seemed different than most people I know." He shrugged, looking at his plate. "I'm glad I asked," he said, wishing he could put off the inevitable goodbye, and hoping Bellamy would agree to see him again before they parted.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

Bellamy couldn't help but enjoy the sound of Bryan's laughter. It was so, uplifting. While Bellamy felt nothing could lift his spirits in his darkened state of despair, Bryan came pretty damn close. It was that same jovial aura about him that had Bellamy agreeing to go out with him in the first place. Something compelling about him that -- dare he say -- even made him enjoy this conversation between them.

He listened to his answer to the question and it sounded reasonable enough. Bellievable. "Well, happy to be of service I guess. Especially if it adds a bit of excitement to a farmer's life," he said teasingly, finishing off the last of his bite. He was done with food. Bryan saw Bellamy as different, and the older male knew enough to fully be aware that what made him different, wasn't a good thing.

But he wasn't about to say anything. Something told him that if he expressed such a thing, Bryan would disagree. Besides, a first date wasn't exactly the time or place to showcase his insecurities. Those were something that Bellamy wouldn't reveal to anyone. "Should we get going?" He asked, pushing his chair back a little so that he could stand. He wanted to move on; he wanted to take his date to the next stage and not let that building threat of revealing more about himself than he should, become a reality.

[Deleted]

Bryan couldn't help but chuckle again at Bellamy saying he was happy to provide some excitement. Bryan almost asked him if he'd want to do it again some time, but his nerves got the better to him and he took a large gulp of his water instead, forcing himself not to frown when he noticed Bellamy was done with his food too. Bellamy's next words surprised him, though. "Should we get going?" That implied Bellamy wasn't ready to part ways yet.

"Yeah," Bryan said, pushing back from his seat and grabbing his plate as well, trying not to look or sound too eager or surprised that Bellamy wanted to continue spending time together tonight. "Lead the way," he added, grinning. He honestly didn't care where they went, so long as Bellamy was still interested in spending time together.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

When Bryan agreed, Bellamy rose to his feet, walking alongside Bryan to the door and starting to head down the hall. "Your place or mine?" He asked. Whatever granted them more privacy. Though, he felt he should probably reveal that he lived alone, unsure as to who Bryan may live with. "No one is at my place," he added on a bit dryly. He'd rather not have any privacy at all, than the privacy he did have.

He had grown up, never being alone in the apartment. Octavia was always there, and his mother tried to be there as much as she could. Now, it was empty. Completely void of anything. It's only purpose was a place for Bellamy to perform whatever daily rituals he needed to . . . and in this case, it served as a good setting for physical relations with another. Especially if Bryan didn't live on his own.

[Deleted]

Bryan glanced over at Bellamy as he spoke. Bellamy was wanting to go back to one of their apartments? Maybe he'd just be more comfortable in private, though. Bryan's first impulse was to say either was fine, as his parents tended not to mind company, but decided quickly that if Bellamy was only barely relaxing around him, a first date wasn't the best one for him to meet the parents on.

"Yours then," he said, ignoring the sudden fluttering of his stomach at the idea of being completely alone with Bellamy.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @bryanbryanbryan

forgiveness

IS HARD FOR US

Bellamy gave a short nod and started to lead them to his apartment. The walk there wasn't long, and was relatively filled with silence. There wasn't enough distance to start a conversation. Besides, there was no need. It would be halted once they got to his place, once they were behind closed doors. As expected, they arrived soon enough and Bellamy opened the door to let Bryan in, before he followed suit, closing it behind them. His apartment was relatively empty. A table, two beds, the usual. There was nothing that indicated it was a home. That feeling was gone the moment his family was taken to him.

This place was just that: a place. Four walls. A bathroom. A bed. It was functional. Lacking warmth. But for right now, it would serve the purpose. He wasn't ashamed of where he lived. Bellamy had far too many other emotions that plagued him to feel anything akin to shame for his small residence. With Bellamy still near the door, and Bryan's back toward him for those few moments, Bellamy walked up to him from behind. He lowered his head, his lips brushing against the side of his head, moving toward his ear. The height difference prompting Bellamy to need to lower is head to gain the right angle. "I'm glad you asked me out," he spoke in a low voice.

[Deleted]

The walk to Bellamy's place had been mostly silent, which did nothing to help the butterflies in his stomach that he was going to be alone with Bellamy, but he was momentarily distracted when he walked inside Bellamy's place. There were two beds, but the place felt otherwise un-lived in. It didn't feel like a home, really. Not one Bryan had ever been in. He was about to turn around and ask who Bellamy lived with, when suddenly Bryan felt Bellamy very close behind him, his lips brushing the side of his head before moving to speak in his ear. It felt suddenly extremely intimate, unlike their dinner.

Bryan actually felt himself shiver, though, sucking in a shaky breath. The move had been surprising, but still a bit of a turn on. This at least answered the question to whether Bellamy was attracted to him. Bryan turned to face Bellamy, his eyes slightly widened, though he knew what Bellamy had just done had made his attraction to Bellamy obvious on his face. "Glad I did too." His lips parted but still a little unsure, he took in Bellamy's face, so close. How was he more handsome this close?

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Bellamy wasnt oblivious to Bryans reaction; nor to the expression on his face. There was something strongly . . . endearing about it. About Bryan. But then, perhaps it had been that very endearing quality and charm that had caused Bellamy to agree to go out with him . . . and actually enjoy his company. He imagined he was going to enjoy it even more now. Bellamys eyes briefly fell to Bryans lips, the temptation of them so damn strong, enough to prompt Bellamys tongue to run over his lips, to moisten them. It would seem they were past the talking stage of the date.

With that thought in mind, Bellamy began to lean forward, pausing less an inch apart from their lips, as if allowing ample warning to Bryan. Although, he obviously didnt need it; surely he was aware that this was all going to happen. Bellamy then finally closed the distance, instantly feeling the softness of Bryans lips. The delicious taste of him. There was something so innocent about him . . . so pure. Bellamy almost feared tainting hm, if he wasnt certain that this was the understanding between them all along.

Bellamy breathed into the embrace, starting to deepene the kiss, coaxing Bryans mouth open with his own. Bellamy slipped his tongue in betweens Bryans lips, gliding against the younger males tongue and exploding the inner walls of his mouth. One hand moved to Bryans cheek, caressing it which only furthered the sensation of his soft skin . . . and the warmth that was filling his body