You, Me, and a Baby Makes Three

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Arkadia felt less like a home than ever before. Gena was dead. Lincoln was dead. Pike was dead. Octavia hated him. Kane saw him as the enemy. And Clarke . . . well, the damage had already been done to their relationship the moment she had abandoned them. He couldn't so quickly forgive her, even though he had set aside personal feelings to help stop ALIE. The threat of the A.I was over, and now, everyone was recovering from having been chipped. Bellamy hadn't the faintest clue where he fit in with the others. The strain on his relationship with his sister and a man he had regarded as a father weighed on him, knowing he couldn't fix it. Knowing that the moment Octavia had stabbed Pike, he had truly lost her.

All he could do now was do what he did after Mount Weather: focus on what the others needed. He was, what they needed him to be. He lived for them. But he wasn't sure how much life he even had left in him, after losing Octavia. With everyone settling back into Arkadia, Bellamy had started to help clean things up. Everyone was getting checked out as some had suffered physical injures. Bellamy had shot Jaha -- not for a second time. Apparently Jasper stabbed Monty, who shot Jasper, and Harper had been caught in the middle. Clarke had torture wounds, Abby had nearly hung herself and there were the others who had suffered various injuries throughout.

It seemed that most would be ok, but just like Mount Weather, the emotional repercussions would take far longer to heal from. Bellamy hadn't bothered to get looked at after Kane had nearly killed him. He would be fine. The bruises would heal. Right now, he just needed to keep busy. As he made his way down the hall, Bellamy saw Harper leaving medical. This would be a perfect opportunity to see how she was doing. He wasn't sure how she perceived him, but he figured that asking her about her well being wouldn't be out of line. "Got all cleared from medical?" He asked, hoping she was ok.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG You're pregnant. Those were the words that Harper had never imagined she would hear, not without expecting them. As she stared at the doctor with a dropped jaw, her mind was racing as it tried to work out the how and when of the pregnancy. There shouldn't have been any chance for that to happen as they all had contraceptive implants to avoid it, and Harper was sure she remembered getting hers. While she had never really heard of it happening, she would have to take from the news she had just been given that her implant had stopped working at some stage. While part of her wanted to scream, to shout and to hit out at the doctor who had put the faulty implant in her, by that stage she was good at keeping her emotions under control and she did just that. After a moment she was able to pull her expression back into a controlled one. The doctor continued speaking, telling her that she was around five months. Bellamy. The name came to mind right away and she knew that it couldn't be anyone else. They had been on Earth for not much longer than five months and the only person that Harper had been with in those first weeks had been Bellamy. The breath caught in her throat as she thought about that, the whole thing had been for no other reason other than to have fun, to blow off some steam. It had led off from the gun training Bellamy had been giving her and she knew that absolutely no feelings had gone into it, at least, not the type of feelings you would want if you were making a baby with someone. And out of anyone, it had to be Bellamy. Harper really wasn't sure what to think of that now, what to think about Bellamy. He was someone that she hadn't particularly been thinking about during the final parts of the fight against ALIE and the time since that had happened. Harper had no idea what to do. The doctor told her more things and she reacted how she thought she should, doing her best to keep herself calm and collected and not throw a fit over the fact that her whole life was now destroyed. No, she forced herself to think, It's not destroyed. Just changed. She could remember her own upbringing, remember feeling like she was a burden on her parents. Now that she was pregnant, now that she couldn't change that, she would not make her own child feel the same as she had. If she had known earlier, however, she may have been able to fix it. It was too late now, the baby would have to be had. Harper would become a mother whether she felt ready for it or not. As the doctor finished, rushing onto the next patient and making Harper feel like she was lost and alone, she closed her eyes. Other people were injured, she wasn't going to get more attention until everyone was stable. The baby wasn't going to kill her. So Harper stood up and she walked out of medical like she was fine, better and didn't have anything to worry about. Her head was down as she walked, her gaze down at her feet and the metal ground below them. Because of that, Harper didn't notice Bellamy around until he spoke. Her head shot up and she jumped, obviously, a panicked thought going through her head that Bellamy would know about the baby just by looking at her. Her arms moved to cross over her stomach before she really thought about what she was doing. "Oh, hi Bellamy!" She sounded ever so slightly breathless. She was doing a great job at acting natural, then who could blame her? She had hardly put a thought yet into whether she was going to tell Bellamy, about what part she might want him to play in it all. The only thing she knew right then was that she felt angry, she felt scared and that Bellamy was the last person she wanted to see. "All cleared," she told him. She couldn't quite manage to smile. "You, ah, looking for someone?" She might have mentioned Octavia but she knew that he wouldn't be looking for his sister. Bellamy Blake || Aaaannd Harper is unsure of how to view Bell rn. Poor Bell!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She seemed . . . startled. If that was even the right word for it. Something felt off. He knew that it could very well be due to what had happened; the leftover tension of everything. His departure from Arkadia to Polis had resulted in a hug from nearly everyone, but that did not mean all was mended. He was however relieved to hear that she had been cleared from medical. "I was just heading down this way and saw you leaving," he told her truthfully. He paused for a moment, unable to resist asking. "Are you ok?" A question that he had asked many. But it was already prompted by concern.

Granted, he had no idea if she would even talk to him if she wasn't fine . . . but he wanted the offer to be there. The vocalization of concern. Despite what the others may think, he still deeply cared about every single one of them. Especially the original 100 that were sent on the ground. It was why he was still here. Why he would rather face them than run away from them, no matter how intensely they couldn't look at him. "You seem . . . distracted." If that was even the right word for it. Startled. Distracted. He knew something was up and wished to extend an invitation to talk about it if she so desired.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG Harper really did just hope that Bellamy was looking for someone else and the conversation could quickly end and move on, leaving her to make the hard decisions. She could go find others to talk to about it, people she cared about and who's opinions she respected. It couldn't be that difficult to find a couple of people to tell, to make a decision on what she would do with the baby, how she would look after it and what to do about Bellamy. It would end with her confident in her decisions and one step closer to accepting her coming new life with baby. That would be the easiest way to go about it but then nothing was ever really easy when it came to Bellamy. Not even casual sex, apparently. It led to a child you didn't want to have. So, of course, Bell wasn't there to see someone else and it would be the slightest bit harder to get rid of him. It was the question that Harper really hated hearing. In general, Harper hated to be asked if she was okay because since they had arrived on Earth, no one had ever been alright. Right now, she hated the question because it made her want to spill everything that had just happened. As well as the fact that she highly doubted that Bellamy even cared anymore. He had sided differently to the rest of them when it came to the grounders and he had killed so many. Harper wasn't a big lover of grounders, they had done horrible things and she had definitely killed some of them before, but what he had done was too far. Harper wasn't sure if she could completely trust him again. Her mind had just avoided even thinking about him before that day. She may have never really talked to him again if this hadn't happened, she may have moved on and found healthier friends and mentors. Ones that she could trust and ones that wouldn't get her pregnant. While Harper knew that Bellamy couldn't care that much, he definitely looked like he cared. "I'm fine, really," Harper insisted, avoiding eye contact. If he saw her eyes, maybe he would know she was lying. It wasn't like Harper wanted to look at him anyway. Just hearing him and knowing he was there was beginning to make her feel sick. Really sick, actually. Oh no, she was actually feeling sick. Her head buzzed and her stomach flipped. Harper knew well before it happened that it was going to happen, at least it felt like a long time, but still she had no chance of getting away. Bile rose in her throat and landed onto Bellamy's shoes. For a moment, Harper just stared down at the mess she had created, unsure of what to do next. Then she forced herself to look up, meeting Bellamy's eyes for the first time in their meeting. "I'm so sorry," she told him. "I didn't know..." Bellamy Blake || Thought I'd help push her to tell him. This might help.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She was fine. He was so used to hearing that answer. Almost as much as he gave it. But he also knew that with Harper being one of those in the cave . . . that his life held no worth to her. To them. And he supposed he couldn't expect any differently. His misdeeds seemed to outweigh his attempts to save people. His actions always marked as failures but this time, not only by him. By his sister. By his father of heart now calling him an enemy. By Clarke, first abandoned and then returned only to strike blame. And by those in the cave to serve as witnesses and thus, silent encouragers.

So 'fine', was all he could get. Perhaps it was all he deserved to get. As he felt before, Arkadia was less of a home now . . . leaving him entirely uncertain as to where he belonged. He was about to just give a nod and walk away, unable to force her to talk. Doubting she wanted to. Was there anything left to even say? The harder he tried, the more he failed. And perhaps, he was just so damn tired of trying.

Before any other course of action could unfold however, he watched her expression as it changed and within moments, vomit stained his shoes. He looked down at it, concern above anything else. Besides, he wasn't squeamish. Not in the slightest. It was her words that followed which . . . made him think that this was something beyond a mere illness. The concern intensified, and he raised his gaze to meet her own.

"Tell me, what's going on Harper?" It wasn't a demand, but it was a question that he needed answered. Because . . . it was her words. Her apology. One that seemed to go beyond saying sorry for throwing up on his shoes. Something that held more meaning, a stronger weight. And before Bellamy wanted his mind to rest on the possibility of what it could be . . . he was giving her the chance to answer before he went out in search of answers himself.

Or until the condition was more drawn out and impossible to ignore. But he sure as hell didn't want it to go that far without his knowledge. Of course it could be something else. But . . . Bellamy tended to trust his gut. And his past with Harper was not forgotten. A time of lustful passion, possibly carrying through into something that would bring them together in ways that neither of them expected. So the question stood, and Bellamy looked at her, soft intent in his expectant gaze.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG It was a relief for Harper when Bellamy didn't seem to care about the vomit on his shoes. With everything else happening, it wouldn't have mattered but then with how Harper was feeling, she didn't need it. It was quite intense, meeting his gaze when she had been avoiding it before and it made it more difficult for her to not tell him. He was there in front of her and he was real. As much as she didn't like him and wished that it could be anyone else, he was still there, still the only person who could be the father and she couldn't lie to him. And then he asked her what was happening. His words could be an encouragement to her. She could just tell him, get it over and done with and work out what to do from there. It would be obvious that she was pregnant soon enough anyway. That didn't mean she had to tell him that the child was his though. It was tempting, extremely so. It wouldn't be difficult to tell him it was someone else's, especially with the amount of delinquents that had died since the early days on Earth. How she could prove such a thing, however, she didn't know. Just by admitting that she was pregnant it would lead to more questions and she was completely unsure of how she would keep up a story to convince him that he wasn't the father. The way he was looking at her, well, she was worried that he would still work out that it was his even if she didn't tell him. Her eyes broke away from his and she stared down at his shoulder instead. She didn't know what to do. In no way had she asked for this to happen.  "Bellamy," she started. Oh god, what was she actually going to say? Her eyes shut and she felt her whole body shiver slightly like an aftershock to the sickness. She could taste bile in her mouth and what she wanted to do was go wash it out, not be where she was with Bellamy. But she had no choice then. She had to tell him. It would be impossible to hide it and it was too late to get rid of it. "What's going on is that I'm..." She trailed off, the word getting caught on her tongue. It was such a new thing for her as well, something that she had just learnt about that she hadn't even had time to process herself. Her eyes opened again and she forced her gaze back to meet Bellamy's eyes. At the very least, Harper could be strong. It was something she never seemed to quite be good at so it would be worth the practice at least. "I'm pregnant."  Bellamy Blake || Aaaand I'm away for the weekend. Posted for you, Bells! And Nina.

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

I'm pregnant.

These were the only words Bellamy could focus on. All else froze in his mind. Every other thought and emotion drowning, left only with this single revelation that numbed him. But that didn't last for long. For just as quickly as everything was numbed . . . the emotions came rushing back to him. She was pregnant. And Bellamy knew from her expression, her demeanour, the way she was acting around him . . . it wasn't difficult to determine why. It was because he was the father.

That had to be the case. Otherwise, why tell him? Why act like this around him? It was more than just the tension that had existed between them. It made sense as to why now. Bellamy didn't even know how to react. He had killed so many fathers, so many children . . . what gave him the right to his own? Yet that by no means meant that it was unwanted. Family was everything to Bellamy Blake. His sister had been the center of his universe for so long. His sole priority. He had failed her, just like he had failed his mother. Perhaps it was a curse . . . yet a child, was a blessing.

The thought then occurred to him, of whether Harper even wanted his involvement in this child's life. He couldn't blame her if she didn't. He was a monster. The others had seen that, inaction suggesting their agreement and approval of his treatment. Harper was among them. So perhaps, she wouldn't even want him a part of this child's life. The thought made his heart ache, but at the same time . . . he knew he couldn't force himself on her, or their child. She could find someone better, and yet, even just having found this out a few seconds ago, Bellamy already felt a love for this unborn child. One that was still growing in her womb. One that barley was visible in terms of her stomach's growth. His eyes inevitably falling to her stomach as if to see for himself.

He swallowed, jaw clenched with emotion, trying to keep himself composed. His eyes felt moist, but no tears spilled. His fragile state of mind and heart, now put into overdrive. So he could only ask one thing. Braving one question as he looked into her eyes. "Is it mine?" He knew it was. But there was an underlying reason to his question, made clear by the way he looked at her, the way he asked his question. He made it obvious that he knew the answer -- obviously not wanting to offend her. But his reason for asking was deeper; for it pertained to her personal preference. Would she allow him to be in the child's life.

He was giving her an out, right here, right now. If she said no, then he would live with the knowledge that he was too worthless to be a father. That the child would never know their true other parent. Maybe it was for the best . . . yet it would hurt. But if she said yes . . . then Bellamy knew that he would love this child more than life itself. That this child, would be his heart and soul. And would be a reason for living, a reason for enduring . . . a reason for loving. The power was in Harper's hands, and all Bellamy could do was stand here, and wait for her to answer. Wait for her to determine his fate of heartbreak or a renewed sense of life.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG The silence that followed her confession was the worst part. Harper watched Bellamy, worry obvious on her face, as he reacted. Whereas Bellamy was always someone who managed to keep his emotions in check quite well, Harper caught small flashes of emotion and she tried her best not to read into them. She didn't want to know how he was feeling, not really. All that she wanted to know, needed to know in that moment was whether Bellamy had suspicions on the child being his and whether he would want to be a part of his or her life. Harper guessed now with the baby news out in the air she would have to comply with what Bellamy wanted. If he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, as much as the idea wasn't the best one to her in that moment, what right would she have to deny him of that? As much as the child was hers, it was also his and if she placed herself in his shoes, she wouldn't want to be denied the right to look after her own child. So she chewed on the inside of her cheeks as she waited, needing something to do to stop her from going crazy. It wouldn't do her well to start screaming. This would be the worst part, she thought, waiting for this reaction. It felt like the calm before the storm, like she was watching the clouds darken above her knowing that only one things could come about from them. As she waited, she noticed Bellamy's gaze move to her stomach and almost out of an instinct she didn't know she had, Harper's arms went to hug her stomach and the almost non-existent bump of the baby growing inside her. She kept her own eyes on Bellamy's, noticing the changes in his face as his jaw seemed to tighten and his eyes glinted in the artificial light with what could have been the beginning of tears. When he finally met her eyes again, she knew that she would finally get the answers that she needed. He asked if it was his. Harper's eyebrows came together in confusion. She would have thought with the way she had told Bellamy that it would have been quite obvious who the father of the child was. Maybe it hadn't been as obvious as she had been thinking it was, however. Whether he knew or whether he didn't, well, did it matter? This could be her opportunity, a get out of jail free card. Harper could tell him that it wasn't his and walk away with nothing but an apology for his shoes. It was a tempting though, she had to admit. It wouldn't be hard for her to find help in raising the child. There were so many mothers around who she knew would help her, people like Abby. But then, wouldn't it be better for her child to grow up knowing both its parents loved them? Or would Bellamy and herself, knowing the state of their relationship, just cause the child to have a stressful upbringing, mirroring the way that Harper herself had grown up. That was her biggest fear, she had to admit, the child growing up feeling as unwanted and unneeded as Harper did. Harper felt tears in her own eyes, grown out of frustration. What could she do? Either answer seemed to have its own downfalls, either answer wouldn't give her child the upbringing he or she would deserve. Her tears began to escape from her eyes, running down her cheeks as she stood there in silence. Maybe she didn't even deserve to raise the child. If she couldn't even make this first decision about the baby, how would she be able to make all the future ones? She would have to grow up and grow up so much faster than she had been before. Killing and training and everything she had been through since coming to Earth, she doubted it would compare with trying to look after a small baby. She wasn't sure why her decision was made then, or what reason there was behind it but she nodded, her eyes locked with Bellamy's. "Yes, it is." There wasn't a part of her that could understand how she spoke then, drowning in her own worries and fears but she did. Now he knew. Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

If it was ever possible for time to stop, this would be the moment. That seemingly impossible moment, where all else ceased to exist. With the exception of the three of them. Because it was not just Harper anymore. There was a life growing inside of her. A life that she and Bellamy had created, together. All he could do in this moment was wait. Wait for her answer. Fear it. For with a single response, she could deliver the final blow that would send him to the ground . . . without even laying a finger on him. Physical pain never hurt as much as emotional pain.

It was why Bellamy could take it. The punches. The kicks. The strikes. But when it came to his emotions . . . he was far more delicate than he could ever admit. People saw it he supposed. And yet, it didn't matter. It didn't stop them from loathing him. Or detesting him. So he waited, and as if his emotions hadn't already been just on the surface . . . Harper's response caused that unshed tear to roll down his cheek. With those few words, she had practically breathed life into him. Giving him a new sense of purpose. A new hope. An emphatic love. A devotion. So many things, and he couldn't identify a singular emotion.

There was a flurry of them, overwhelming him. He saw that she too was crying, yet the relief of her words stilled him. Paralyzed him in a way that nothing ever had before. "Thank you," he breathed, not even entirely aware that he had said the words. But there was gratitude. The utmost appreciation because . . . she was giving him this. A right he would never take for granted. A life that would mean so much more than his own. He sniffed a little, trying to regain his composure. Trying to figure out where to go from here; what the next step was.

"Do you want to go somewhere and talk?" About everything. About what they were going to do. How they were going to do this. He needed a focus. A direction. Harper, and their unborn child, was his priority. Which prompted his next inquiry. "Or would you prefer to rest?" An alternative, in the event that she didn't wish to speak to him further about this. He couldn't blame her for that. She had told him right now, and that was more than Bellamy could have ever hoped for. More than he deserved.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG The first thing that Harper noticed was the fact that Bellamy started crying as well. What could she even take from that? The whole situation was just a balloon of emotions that had exploded and now they were standing there in the middle of the hallway, both crying with the added bonus of vomit still staining Bellamy's shoes. They would look like total messes to anyone else who walked by them. Harper couldn't find it in herself to really care though, her whole focus needed to go to the baby and to Bellamy and... Harper had no idea what she was going to do. Part of her couldn't believe she hadn't taken her get out of jail free card. This was it. Bellamy would have to be a part of the baby's life and Harper would have to learn to deal with that, as much as she felt such a high distrust towards him. If she wanted to try and find something positive from the situation, she guessed she could say she had made the first big decision as a mother. What good was that really when she wasn't happy about the decision, however? There was a bit of surprise to hearing him thank her. She had no idea how to reply to that. The emotion that his voice held was so thick, Harper felt like it could suffocate her and she was only hearing it. Of course Harper couldn't be sure what the baby meant to Bellamy but from the way he seemed to be reacting, Harper could guess it was a good thing. She found a thought running through her mind, a small hope that maybe the baby might change things. Change him. That maybe Bellamy and her might have a chance at having something good again and that Bellamy would turn out to be a wonderful father. It was such a small seed of hope that Harper didn't dwell on it. The things that Bellamy had done, Harper didn't know if she could view him the way she used. It was hard to just erase them from her mind. Yes, he had done good but he had done bad as well. He'd done things worse than Harper could ever imagine doing. She was pulled out of her own thoughts and worries by Bellamy's voice. He wanted to go somewhere and talk, or he was at least suggesting that. Her gaze went down to his feet and the mess on his shoes. Maybe they should both get cleaned up before they thought about sitting down and talking. Harper would appreciate the chance to think about things, even for a short amount of time, before the discussions began. She still had no idea what she was going to do about the baby. How she - how they would raise it. "Maybe you should clean up first? I know I need some water." Then she heard his other suggestion and she was tempted to accept it. If he left her to rest it would give her as much time to think as she needed and she could work out a plan in her head before she spoke to him. Then, what plan could she think up? And to be honest with herself, rest was the last thing that she wanted to do. Her mind was running wild with the news of her baby. Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy nodded his head when she suggested him getting cleaned up first. He hadn't even thought of the vomit. All his other senses numbed due to the revelation she had just given him. He didn't want to impose on her if she wasn't ready to talk. That much he knew. But . . . he was also aware that they couldn't prolong the conversation forever. That in telling him that he was the father, Bellamy planned to take that role very seriously. This was a child. His child. He was not going to ignore or dismiss that.

He was not going to neglect his responsibilities to their unborn baby. His priority had and always has been his people, and everything he had ever done . . . was with that interest at heart. "If you're ready to talk tonight, come by my place." That would allow her the control; the ability to decide whether she wanted to come or not, without him forcing her to. "If not, then we can talk tomorrow. Or whenever else your ready." This way, he wouldn't be pressuring her. Hell, who knows how long she would have taken to tell him had he not stumbled upon her in the hall. That is . . . if she would have even told him.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG When Harper and Bellamy had went their separate ways earlier that day, Harper had not been even the slightest bit sure if she would go see him that night or if she would put off the conversation for a longer period of time. She had went straight back to her room, rinsing her mouth out with water a few times before deciding that she just needed to shower. It was after the shower that Harper had glanced down at her stomach, seeing the slight curve that was so small it could have been the result of an overly large meal. Now she knew exactly what it was and in seeing it she couldn't do anything but cry. That was how she ended up spending the afternoon sitting on her bathroom floor in tears. It was a long afternoon. Eventually, she decided that she needed to talk about it. The baby. It was not something that would go away, not something she could just put off. If she wanted to give him or her the best life she could then she had to start now. As much as Harper hated that so much, it would mean going to talk to Bellamy that evening. Washing her face to rid the evidence of her day, Harper smiled at herself in the small mirror. Even she couldn't believe it was a real smile, her eyes looked almost dead. She put on some fresh clothes and they made her wonder what would happen when she got bigger. How would she fit into her clothes? She would need new ones. Bigger clothes to accommodate for her belly that would be growing. She wouldn't even be able to do something as simple as getting dressed without thinking of the baby now, of the pregnancy. It almost felt like he life was ending, all to be replaced by the child that had already been growing in her belly for months without her even knowing it was there. Once she was dressed and as calm as she could be, Harper left her room to go to Bellamy's. It was that long of a walk but felt like it and with every step Harper held the thought of turning back around and running back to her bed. It was tempting to just hide under the covers and spend some time pretending this wasn't happening. Just to even sleep. But Harper had made that decision and she was going to have the conversation that she dreaded. At the very least, she now didn't have to worry about telling Bellamy. He already knew. She just had to be willing to talk about how the baby would be raised. What part he would play and she would play. As thoughts of that began to overwhelm her she wished that she still only had the decision of whether to tell him or not. When she arrived at his place, she knocked on the door and waited. Bellamy Blake || Itty bitty time skippin'

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Harper's news was what consumed his mind for the rest of the day. Training, patrol, inventory . . . he carried out all these tasks with the distraction in his mind. He was going to be a father. Harper was going to have his baby. The thought of terminating it hadn't come up. He didn't know if that was what Harper wanted or something she considered. He knew what he wanted, but this wasn't about him. The fact that she had told him was something he was quite appreciative of, even though it had just been by coincidence that he was there in the hall when she was.

Still. She didn't have to reveal it, and she had. The rest of the day went by as if he was in some strange sort of daze. As if he was walking underwater. Everything else seemingly drawn out, further away than it actually was. He was both glad and nervous by the time night hit. He left work a little earlier -- though he often dreaded nights alone in his apartment.

It was when the images of his past haunted him. The more he could find to busy himself, the better. Right now however, he had another reason for returning. Harper. Whether she would come or not, he hadn't the faintest idea. He took off his jacket, changing into comfortable pants and a casual t-shirt. He tried to calm his racing heart, but he couldn't. He was pacing, sitting, pacing again, standing to get something that he forgot so just remained on his feet, back to sitting.

And that was when a knock on the door nearly had his heart jump out of his throat. He got up and made his way to it, taking a deep breath, and opened it to reveal Harper. "Hey," he greeted, not even sure what emotion was coming out in his voice. He stepped aside so that she could enter, closing the door behind her, though remaining in place. "Thank you for coming," he told her, not taking that for granted or dismissing how difficult this surely must be for her. "How are you feeling?" He inquired, for her health was his priority. Her health, and their baby's.

[Deleted]

This is my Fight Song --TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG, PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SONG When Bellamy opened the door, Harper had the biggest urge to run away. So much more so than when she had been putting her clothes on and when she had been walking down the halls. It took a lot of control to keep her feet planted on the ground in front of his door and even more so to walk inside when he stepped aside to allow her to do so. "Hey," she replied, watching the door as he closed it just so she would have an extra moment to try and keep herself together. This should have been such a positive thing, to discuss a baby, but all Harper knew was that she wasn't anywhere near ready to be a mother and that the father was someone that she couldn't even say she particularly like too much at that stage. It was anything but a positive thing and Harper couldn't imagine things would become happy for a while. She hoped they eventually would. At Bellamy's question on how she was feeling, Harper decided that he was referring to her physical health. She had thrown up on him earlier that day so it would be a logical thing for him to ask about. It was obvious that Bellamy would care about the child and that was probably the most solid thing that Harper had at this stage. His reaction and the fact that he seemed so eager to have this conversation, Harper knew at the very least that the child would have a father that wanted him or her. Everything else, Harper had no idea but at least there was one thing she knew, for now, was solid and certain. "I'm feeling fine now," she told him. "Sorry again about the shoes," she added. She did hope that the vomit had washed off and not left his shoes with a bad smell. Supplies for clothes and such, while not low, still weren't never ending and Harper didn't particularly want to be the cause of the loss of a pair of shoes.  Bellamy Blake || Well, this'll be fun!

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @harpermcintyre

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy's gaze remained on Harper as she told him that she was feeling fine now . . . and apologized about the shoes. "Don't worry about it," he assured her. "Nothing that water and cleaner can't take care of." His shoes were the lease of his concerns. Material objects could always be replaced. Lives couldn't. Relationships couldn't. He'd lost enough of both things to know a thing or two about that.

"Have a seat," he offered, pulling out a chair for her as he proceeded to fill a cup of water and set it down on the table in front of the chair he pulled out for her -- should she decide to sit down. Or whether she preferred standing. Truth be told, Bellamy hadn't the slightest idea how to proceed. He'd never had this conversation with someone before. And he never thought he'd have to have it with Harper.

He thought that he would be in love with the woman that carried his child. But that was . . . quite far removed from the relationship him and Harper had. For he knew he lost her that day in the cave. That despite his attempts to protect her and Miller, despite his past actions . . . he had been judged and found guilty. There was no coming back from that, and he couldn't erase the validation of his self hatred. "Have you told anyone else?" He asked, wondering if he should be prepared for anyone else finding out.