Post by Bellamy Blake on Nov 11, 2016 18:33:32 GMT
Tag: @jasper420 all i do is
HURT PEOPLE. I'M A MONSTER
Bellamy listened to Jasper talk about her, stating that she was smart and brave. Both things that Bellamy could quite easily agree with. His time with her had been limited, but significant as she had navigated him around Mount Weather and helped overcome each obstacle that they faced. She made it possible to save his people, and he'd killed her in return. Bellamy didn't know the details of what happened inside Mount Weather, so he clenched his jaw when hearing that they had targeted her to get to Jasper. Bellamy could only imagine what that had entailed. He finished with saying that he owed her everything, but that he wasn't fast enough to save her. Bellamy took a slow breath, unable to ever forget the feeling of pulling that lever, of seeing the others dying . . . because he had made a choice.
"She chose to do the right thing rather than protect the Mountain Men." Technically her own people, but ones whose actions she did not condone. "It's more than what I did." Pulling the lever hadn't exactly been the right choice; he'd felt it had been the only choice. But the point was, Bellamy decided who should live and die in that moment. He decided that over 300 people should die, in exchange for his people to live. And it wasn't the first time he had done that. Nor had it been the last. "It's not on you. You tried to save her Jasper." But Bellamy and Clarke hadn't allowed him to. Bellamy would rather he blame him than himself. Hell, everyone else blamed him for the deaths of their loved ones. He didn't feel Jasper should be an exception to that.
"We all owe her our lives." Not that that made it any easier to accept her death. "I'm just sorry, we didn't do more to protect her." We as in him and Clarke . . . but at the same time, he knew he couldn't use that term anymore. "That I didn't do more," he corrected. Him and Clarke, were not a we. She'd made that clear when she left. On the topic of her, Bellamy wondered if it would be better to focus on a positive memory, rather than talk of her death and lamenting in what happened. Not that any memory would be easy to bear. "If you want to talk about her . . . " Bellamy began, giving the choice to Jasper to continue or discourage the conversation. "How did you two meet?" Genuine curiosity in his voice.
"She chose to do the right thing rather than protect the Mountain Men." Technically her own people, but ones whose actions she did not condone. "It's more than what I did." Pulling the lever hadn't exactly been the right choice; he'd felt it had been the only choice. But the point was, Bellamy decided who should live and die in that moment. He decided that over 300 people should die, in exchange for his people to live. And it wasn't the first time he had done that. Nor had it been the last. "It's not on you. You tried to save her Jasper." But Bellamy and Clarke hadn't allowed him to. Bellamy would rather he blame him than himself. Hell, everyone else blamed him for the deaths of their loved ones. He didn't feel Jasper should be an exception to that.
"We all owe her our lives." Not that that made it any easier to accept her death. "I'm just sorry, we didn't do more to protect her." We as in him and Clarke . . . but at the same time, he knew he couldn't use that term anymore. "That I didn't do more," he corrected. Him and Clarke, were not a we. She'd made that clear when she left. On the topic of her, Bellamy wondered if it would be better to focus on a positive memory, rather than talk of her death and lamenting in what happened. Not that any memory would be easy to bear. "If you want to talk about her . . . " Bellamy began, giving the choice to Jasper to continue or discourage the conversation. "How did you two meet?" Genuine curiosity in his voice.
