A Walk Under The Stars

[Deleted]

"I did, unfortunately. They don't call me 'Heartbreaker Jackson' for nothing," Jackson said, taking a bite of his food. He shifted a little closer to Bellamy so that their arms were brushing were they sat. He couldn't seem to ever get enough of touching Bellamy. "I might worry you don't like me if I don't at least get a kiss at the end of the night, though," he teased.

They'd been staying in each other's quarters since they returned from their trip to see Nyko. Jackson knew for sure he would get a kiss tonight. More than one. Maybe more than kisses. "What about you? Did you date?" Before Gena? he thought, but he wasn't sure if mentioning her would bring Bellamy down. Jackson felt lucky that he got to see Bellamy smile, and hear him laugh. It just made him more beautiful to Jackson.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy gave a short chuckle at Jackson's nickname of Heartbreaker Jackson, the amusement over it having promtped his reaction. "Oh my god," he said with a slight shake of his head. "Do I need to be careful then?" He said jokingly, not worried about that. Not in the way that he was teasing. He was trusting Jackson with everything within him. If he didn't . . . well, he wouldn't have opened up to him. He wouldn't allow himself to be with him.

"Well then I guess it just depends how tonight goes," Bellamy said with a teasingly nonchalant tone. This felt wonderful. Sitting so close to him, that contact that they had, the teasing mood, learning more about each other. It all felt incredible, and made Bellamy wish they had more nights like this. He poured Jackson a drink, sitting the cup on the cloth before pouring one for himself, listening to his partner's question.

He was assuming he meant before Gena, since his relationship with her was a well known throughout Arkadia. "Not really," he answered honestly. He doubted Jackson wanted to hear about his past sex life. "It was never more than physical." Which, Jackson had said the same about when it came to his relations with others. It had been what made the first time they spent the full night together so special. "Guess thats something we both had in common when we met," he added on.

[Deleted]

Jackson enjoyed the sound of Bellamy's laughter at his dumb joke, but ignored Bellamy's teasing question back. He knew they both knew this was safe. As safe as anything could be in this world. They'd resisted each other so hard, it wouldn't make sense to open up now if they didn't trust one another.

"It's going pretty damn well so far," Jackson said in response to Bellamy's next words. He took another bite of his food, listening as Bellamy continued.

He supposed that was something they had in common when they met. It wasn't a particularly happy thing to have in common, that they'd both closed off their hearts for so long. Jackson leaned over and kissed Bellamy's cheek. "We can make up for lost time now," he said. For as long as they could.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy kept a smile on his lips when Jackson spoke of how well it was going thus far. He knew that nothing was perfect in this world, but as long as there was more good than bad . . . well, then Bellamy was successful in his goal. He closed his eyes for a brief moment when Jackson kissed his cheek speaking about making up for lost time. He couldn't agree more. "It was worth it," he began to saw, his hand moving to the back of Jackson's head, his fingers gently caressing the nape of his neck.

"The wait I mean." Worth the wait. Jackson was worth the wait. Not only in terms of disallowing themselves to be with another, but even since the Ark. Bellamy had never just met anyone and delved into a relationship with them. It was something that they had built up. Something that felt so incredible because of the emotional connection they already had. "You were definitely worth the wait," Bellamy expressed, fully piecing together his thoughts as he leaned forward to kiss Jackson on the lips in a deep embrace.

[Deleted]

Bellamy's touch at the the nape of his neck, combined with Bellamy's words , sent a thrill through Jackson like he'd never felt before. Jackson wondered if this was what love felt like? It had to be. But... was this too soon? They'd known each other more than a year, and they'd always had a connection, but they'd only been official maybe a week and a half.

"I knew I'd get a kiss," he teased, when the kiss broke. "Didn't even have to wait 'til the end of the date." He kissed Bellamy again, sliding a hand into his hair. This moment felt too perfect to even be real. He couldn't say he loved Bellamy, though. What if he was being foolish in this first relationship high? When the kiss broke again, Jackson rested their foreheads together, his eyes closed. "You make me feel so much," he whispered. It was the closest he could get to how he actually felt.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The teasing words just added to the perfection of this moment. The fact that they were able to tease each other so effortlessly, and fall right into the more emotional conversations was . . . incredible. This was a rarity. A true rarity. Bellamy couldn't compare Jackson to Gena, but he knew what it was to find the right person. The one he could see himself being with, not just out of convenience. Right now, Jackson was that for him. Someone that he needed and wanted. "What can I say. You're are to resist," he teased back, though his words held the utmost truth.

When he kissed him again, Bellamy breathed into their joined lips, one hand still on the back of his neck, while his other grazed up along his thigh, enjoying the feeling of touching him and being touched by him. When he broke the kiss, their foreheads touching, and both their eyes still closed, Bellamy just basked in his words. He felt so much. The fact that Bellamy could cause emotions other than anger, pain, and hurt within someone else . . . was a reminder. A good reminder.

That perhaps, a part of him wasn't a complete monster. Where he had been unable to look at himself in the mirror, Jackson made it so much easier to do so. "You do too," he said in a quiet voice, his eyes still closed, heightening every other sense in this wonderful moment. "You make me feel . . . alive." As if he wasn't truly dead on the inside. As if he had his humanity. That he could care about someone and be cared for by someone. Jackson encompassed so much that Bellamy could never fully express. But he wanted to at least try. Even if it took the rest of his life to do so.

[Deleted]

Jackson didn't pull away from Bellamy as he soaked in his words. Alive. Being alive was so much different than just living. Jackson had known that intellectually his entire life, but he hadn't felt it until... well, first, Alie. He'd been living in the City of Light, but he wasn't alive. His humanity was altered. And now with Bellamy, it was the opposite. He felt alive too, in a way he hadn't before.

"Good," he breathed, turning his head slightly to brush a small kiss to the corner of Bellamy's mouth. "We're both alive." The hand that wasn't in Bellamy's hair moved his plate out of his lap so that he could curl his hand around the hand Bellamy had left on his thigh. "So happy I get to live with you."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

The light brush against his lips felt wonderful, as did Jackson's words. They were both alive. Surviving and living were two very different things. Bellamy's life since he could remember had been about living. Day life one day at a time. On the Ark, he'd lived in constant fear. Fear of losing his family, of losing Octavia. Perhaps that was why he and his sister had been able to adjust so quickly to the threats that surrounded them down here. Because they were used to that chronic state of fear in their lives. The ground was of course about surviving too but now . . . it felt like it could be so much more.

"It's been a while since I felt like I was alive," he admitted in a low voice, his lips brushing against Jackson's for a moment before he continued. "I feel like I'm living, not just surviving." With him. As Jackson had said, he was happy to get to live with him. And that word: happy . . . meant so much to Bellamy. Part of him wanted to take those words literally; wanted to ask Jackson to move in, or vice versa. So that they didn't have to waste any more time. The proposition was on the tip of his tongue. Bellamy wasn't often used to being alone. On the Ark, he had shared his home with his family, and obviously Octavia had always been there.

Down on the ground, he often found the company of a partner to spend the night with. Arkadia, it had been Gena. And the days after she was gone . . . had been the most difficult to endure. He didn't want to spend a night away from Jackson, and yet didn't want to presume too much, uncertain how he felt if Bellamy was pushing the pace too much. So he fought against the instinct of just blurting it out, and instead, pressing his lips against Jackson's in another kiss -- not only to silence the words, but because he could never grow tired of kissing Jackson. "Me too," he finally said, returning the words of being happy to live with him. Happy. Such a powerful word. "Who ever thought, we'd be able to be anything even remotely close to happy." Together.

[Deleted]

Jackson laughed faintly at Bellamy's question. "Not me," he admitted, kissing Bellamy again before finally pulling back and looking back up at the glowing blue fluttering around them. It was strange that something so terrible--the things he'd done when chipped and what it had led to--could result in something so wonderful. Jackson still felt guilty for that, but he was trying his best to stay in the present. "I never thought I wanted..." He drew a deep breath, searching for the word. "Romance," he settled on. Because tonight was romantic, wasn't it? "I never thought I wanted it before now."

He turned his head to smile faintly at Bellamy. "I was wrong," he said, and then one of the butterflies landed on Bellamy's shoulder, and he couldn't stop the surprised and delighted exhalation of breath as he looked at it. "You've got a friend."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Romance. What a beautiful word. Bellamy knew that with how he had carried himself, no one expected him to be romantic. Hell, he had ever really considered being it before. On the Ark, he couldn't. Initially on the ground, he couldn't. He could never allow himself that intimate connection. As he had told Jackson earlier, it had been all about the physical. Gena and now Jackson, were the only individuals he felt compelled to be romantic with. People that he wanted to date, that he wanted to spoil, that he wanted to make smile and laugh. It was only ever those two people, that drew it out of him. and the fact that Jackson now said that he had wanted it, and was enjoying it . . . made him feel honored.

"I never thought I wanted to be romantic," he admitted to him, an unwavering smile on his lips. "Or that I would enjoy romance either. But I guess . . . just takes the right person." For him at least, though something told him it was the same for Jackson. "I'm glad you were wrong about that," he said teasingly, but genuinely glad to hear that Jackson wanted this. When he spoke of how he had a friend, Bellamy slightly turned his head, with a raised eyebrow as he looked at the butterfly. He slowly moved his finger toward it so that as it walked, it moved along his index one. He then held it out in front of them. "Hold out your hand," he said in a low voice, trying not to startle the butterfly.

[Deleted]

Yeah, Jackson supposed it did take the right person. Even with his realization after the City of Light fell about the good memories of his mother, and how he needed more good memories in his life, the only person Jackson wanted was Bellamy. "I'm glad I was too."

Jackson grinned as Bellamy delicately got the butterfly onto his finger and held it in front of them. If someone had told him over a month ago that this was a sight he would one day see--Bellamy Blake delicately handling butterflies--he would have thought they were crazy. But this... this was a beautiful sight.

Jackson held up his hand to Bellamy's, watching at the butterfly crawl onto his finger, and then held it closer to his face. "Hey, little man," he said, his voice soft. "Or lady, or however--" It flitted away before he could finish what he was saying to it. "Well, I obviously offended it," he joked, looked back at Bellamy with a smile.

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy watched with a soft smile as the butterfly crawled onto Jackson's finger, the close proximity of it allowing them to see the elaborate details on its wings. And the color of it was striking. Jackson greeted it before it fluttered away, causing Bellamy to let out a bit of a chuckle at his partner's words that followed. "Nice going," he teased. "Either you offended it, or it went back to bring more of its own friends." The fact that they were actually sitting out here, enjoying the sight of butterflies and appreciating nature was just so . . . uncommon. So unexpected.

And so damn wonderful. Bellamy shifted their plates aside and moved to lay back on the blanket, resting on his back as he looked a tJackson expectantly, hoping he'd join him. He folded his arms behind his head, taking in a deep breath of the fresh air and the relaxed aura about this entire outing. "We hardly ever get the chance to appreciate this place. The nature of it." Because everything held threat and danger in it.

[Deleted]

Jackson chuckled as Bellamy suggested the butterfly was going to bring more friends, then watched as Bellamy laid back on the blanket. After a moment, he rested back too, staying on his elbow so he could look down at Bellamy. "We don't," he said. "Maybe we will more now." He leaned down and kissed Bellamy slowly before settling down against him, closing his eyes as he rested his head against Bellamy's shoulder, his nose pressed to Bellamy's neck.

He breathed in Bellamy's scent for a moment, a scent he was getting very used to being close to now, that helped him fall asleep at night, as he ran his hand over Bellamy's chest. But then he rolled back a little, resting the back of his head against the inside of Bellamy's upper arm so he could appreciate nature while they were here. The butterflies were a dazzling display, and he thought he could make out Orion's belt in the sky. "I used to look at Earth from space and wonder what all the green looked like up close. Now I'm in it, and I so rarely look."

Tag: Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: @severitysoftly

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

This was certainly an excellent start to appreciating nature; to being able to look at it, take in the beauty that it held. One further felt with the way Jackson leaned down to kiss him before setting against his shoulder. The way his hand moved over his chest, Bellamy couldn't help but close his eyes and bask in the wonderful feeling of his touch. He felt at peace right now; undeserving of feeling any solace after everything he had done. But he was just tired of fighting it. Tired of fighting the good so that the bad could dominate him. He just wanted . . . to live. As he had told Jackson. And living right now, seemed only possible with his partner by his side.

When he felt Jackson shift, Bellamy moved his arm to drape it around Jackson from behind, holding him close but ensuring he was comfortable with whatever angle he wanted to lay in. "We should change that, somehow," Bellamy said, though knew it was easier said than actually done with the business their lives held. "You need to get out more," he teased Jackson with a slight chuckled as he tilted his head to the side just enough to brush a kiss against Jackson's cheek. "The stars look different down here too," Bellamy added, looking up at them. Star gazing. Who would have thought.

[Deleted]

Jackson chuckled with Bellamy as he joked about needed to get out more. He did, if he was being honest. He woud love to get out more. Maybe if the peace that they currently had held for long enough, he could talk to Abby about training more doctors. As it was, if anything happened to him or Abby, the camp would be doctor-less.

"They do," Jackson agreed, smiling faintly. "So far away, but you can see the constellations. Never could in space. The only angle they line up correctly in is this one," he said gesturing up at the sky, and then lifting his hand higher as another butterfly floated lower. It didn't come close to his hand, though, so he lowered it resting his arm over Bellamy's chest and cupping Bellamy's jaw in his palm.

Tag: Bellamy Blake