Making Amends

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It had been a few weeks since the City of Light fell. Jasper was still fairly miserable, the the shock of having his pain back, the immediate impulse to end it all... at least that was past. Camp was still rationing, which meant no alcohol, but maybe that was a good thing. The very mild withdrawal he'd gone through after being abruptly cut off had sucked enough Jasper didn't want to deal with it again, even if the numbness of booze was still very tempting.

For now, Jasper needed to keep his mind occupied, whenever he could, and try to mend some neglected and deeply troubled relationships. Monty had forgiven him. That was the big one. He still needed to talk to Bellamy. Clarke? Jasper wasn't sure that relationship could ever be fixed. 

He wandered into the Ark, looking for something to do, someone to talk to so that his brain would run in circles on its own, and felt drawn to the sound of the piano and someone singing. When he entered the room and saw Macallan at the piano, Jasper frowned. He hadn't actually had a relationship with the other teen prior to tackling him to the ground. But maybe this would be easy start to having hard conversations.

He slowly walked over to the piano, debated joining Macallan on the bench, and then decided that probably wasn't a good idea and dragged a chair over. As he expected, Macallan stopped playing the minute he sat down, but Jasper just stared at his fingers hovering over the keys. "I think... we got off on the wrong foot," he said, scratching the back of his head.

Tag: @macallan

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Macallan was one of the many that had been chipped. The pain of both deaths of his parents had been eased, and everyone had felt something akin to happiness. But they were soon pulled out of the blissful world to the cold harsh reality of their lives. None of it was real, apparently. And now, they were right back where they started. Well, maybe with a little less war and a restrained former Chancellor. Still, the mood felt even more tense than what it had after Mount Weather. Macallan supposed it was because practically everyone had been chipped. And now they all had one more thing to heal from.

Which was what brought him to his current position. Music had become his emotional outlet, and while chipped, he had written a bunch of happy go lucky type of songs. But . . . it wasn't the reality of their lives. Still, he wanted to sing something that could bring hope. That could boost their morale and spirits. So he played for nothing right now, not even a free drink. He did it out of the hope that it could bring people some peace of mind, some ease of pain. That was what music did for him. It soothed his soul and he wanted to share that with others. Sitting comfortably at the piano, he wiggled his fingers for a moment before starting to press on the keys, forming a melodic rhythm that his voice joined in on.

It was a song he had written shortly after returning to Arkadia. Hope. That was the theme of it; that seemed to be what everyone was in need of right now. Macallan often got lost in his music, the rest of the world drowning out while he entered this sort of trance . . . which was why he hadn't noticed an all too familiar face until it was standing right next to him. And then . . . shockingly sitting right next to him. His presence had caused Macallan to abruptly stop playing as he just eyed the fellow Arker. The last time he saw this guy, he had tackled him to the ground before Macallan shoved him off and clocked him in the face. He was bracing himself for a similar altercation. But then the male started speaking about getting off on the wrong foot.

"You mean feet," Macallan stated. "Cause, you know . . . you knocked me off of mine." He was trying to make a bit of a joke, though he wasn't smiling. He then paused for a moment in between. "And not in a good way." Not the whole 'knock me off my feet' type of thing but like, a serious tackle. Fighting moves. Which they would have most definitely gotten deeper in if everyone hadn't quickly broken it up. Macallan lowered his hands to rest in his lap, slightly pushing back on the bench. "You want it all to yourself, man? Hey, it ain't worth fighting for." Because he would just come back when this guy was gone. How long could he stay here for anyway?!

Tag;; @jasper420

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Jasper made a face, still awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "Technically, you were sitting, so I knocked you off your ass." He tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. Probably because he wasn't sure if the other kid was kidding or not. "And no, I don't want it. I don't even know what to do with it." His eyes stung for a moment, thinking about sitting at the piano with Maya, tinkering with the keys while she teased him. He blinked rapidly and looked away from the other guy.

Jasper drew a deep breath. He should just apologize and leave, probably, but his heart was racing a little. "How long did it take you to learn it?"

Tag: @macallan

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Knocked him off his ass only to put him on it again and thus keep him off his feet. But it wasn't a point that Macallkan was going to argue about. It didn't seem relevant enough. Instead, he told him that he didn't want it, nor knew what to do with it. Macallan still kept his hands away from the keys . . . just in case his playing would trigger another violent response. He looked at the guy while he asked him how long it took him to learn to play. "I kind of taught myself on the Ark." He paused for a moment. "I mean, the different keys and things. I tried to make my own once . . . didn't work out too great," he said with a bit of a smile.

It was amazing what one could learn from books old videos. "But I've always loved music. Guess its sort of a, natural thing." Macallan had tried to remember what the guy had been yelling about after tackling him. "You ever try to play?" He inquired. He said that he didn't know what to do with it . . . but maybe he'd tried before. It was a bit too premature to offer to teach him or anything though. He still didn't know how this conversation was going to go. Could just be the calm before the storm for all he knew!

Tag;; @jasper420

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"If you call tapping a few keys trying to play, I guess," Jasper said. He wondered what Macallan knew of him. He only knew Macallan's name because he'd heard it later, but had anyone told Macallan who he was? Did anyone offer Macallan any explanation as to why Jasper may have done what he did?

"I'd never sat at one before Mount Weather," he said, hoping his voice would stay calm as he explained what he was about to say. He tried to emotionally detach from it a little before continuing. "There was this girl. Maya. One of the first conversations we had, I was sitting at a piano like this one, tapping keys and letting her tease me about it. I... I loved her." His voice cracked a little there. He hated using the past tense when speaking about her. He cleared his throat quickly, though, and continued. "That song you were playing... before I jumped you. It's on her iPod." Her iPod was one of the only connections Jasper still had to her.

He drew a deep breath, then finally looked over at Macallan. "I'm Jasper, by the way. I don't know if anyone told you that."

Tag: @macallan

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Macallan listened to Jasper, not wanting to interrupt him. He saw it on his face; emotions. Only it wasn't the same kind of ones that he had when he'd tackled him before. It wasn't rage. It looked like . . . pain. Yeah. It was definitely pain. Enough people here wore it that it was recognizable. The musician stayed silent, knowing why his words were past tense. Everyone in Mount Weather was dead. And even their own had died in it. The place was completely destroyed but the memories lived on. "I guess you must get a lot of people saying, I'm sorry?" He both asked and stated. Sorry for his loss. Sorry never helped though. It was just a word people said when they didn't know what else to say. He had gotten it after his mother volunteered for the culling. But it had been music that soothed his soul. Macallan didn't know what it was to lose someone you loved, a significant other. He knew the loss of parents, of friends, but not of a partner. "You loved her," he acknowledged, his looking at the keys of the piano.

Well, it was no wonder that he tackled him then. The extreme reaction made a little more sense now, though Macallan couldn't fully relate not having been through a similar experience. "I can help you do something to honor her then?" He offered. Before, he had been hesitant but now . . . maybe it was something that would help. "I can teach you the song. We can dedicate it to . . . Maya was it?" Macallan gave a slight, hesitant smile, uncertain as to how Jasper would react to this. "Music always helps soothe my soul. Who knows. Maybe it could do the same for you." Not enough people tried it. "Besides what have you got to lose?" Listening was one thing, but actually playing, actually singing . . . it was a whole different feeling. "Yeah I heard your name around," he said with a half smile. "I'm Macallan. Well, Jay Macallan. But most people call me by my last name. It seems to be a common thing here," he shrugged, not bothered by it.

Tag;; @jasper420

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People did say they were sorry a lot. It didn't help. It didn't actually mean anything. Macallan didn't actually seem to be offering an 'I'm sorry', though, so that was something.

Jasper listened to Macallan's offer, nodding when he got Maya's name right, and then sighed. "You'd teach me that? After what I did. I haven't even technically apologized yet," he said, his lips tugging up into an almost smirk as he said it. "You have a hell of a hook, by the way. Kudos." He rubbed his hand over the side of his face where Macallan had punched him, even though it had stopped hurting weeks ago. In retrospect, he'd deserved it. He wondered how the fight would have gone if they hadn't been broken up so quickly.

Tag: @macallan

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Macallan responded with a nod as well, and a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Bygones," he said, not one to hold a grudge about something like that. Especially now that he had a bit more backstory and insight into what had caused it. He gave a bit of a sheepish smile, when Jasper commented on his punch, rubbing the side of his cheek. He didn't get in a lot of fights really, mainly back on the Ark when he was going through . . . things. Before fully committing to his music. "Well you have one hell of a tackle," he returned the praise, finding it oddly easing that they were able to tease about something like this. "And yeah. I can definitely teach you. Just depends on what version you wanna learn." His cover or the original that was on Maya's ipod apparently.

"Or you know . . . if you want . . . " He paused for a moment, looking at Jasper as if trying to decide whether this would be something appealing to him or not. "I can help you write a song." About her. About what he felt for her. "You seem like an . . . " What was the best, non insulting way to phrase it. "Emotional guy." Yeah! That sounded good, right?! "I always find it helpful to channel it into my music. Poetry, song lyrics." All of them were connected together. "Maybe you would too?" He suggested, and offered. As he knew, it was a good emotional outlet. Something to express oneself with in a healthy, non violent way.

Tag;; @jasper420

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Jasper nodded when Macallan said bygones. He didn't have any problem apologizing, but it was nice to know that the explanation he'd offered was enough the Macallan didn't seem to need an apology anymore. Jasper actually huffed a small laugh when Macallan described him as an 'emotional guy'. It wasn't the first time someone had accused him of that, even before what had happened with Maya. Jasper didn't really have any shame about it--his parents had also been emotionally demonstrative people--but it was sometimes funny that someone who only knew him for a few minutes would immediately pick up on it. Though, he had just shared something pretty personal.

"I don't know that poetry is really my strong suit. Emotional or not, I was better in science than art on the Ark," Jasper said, starting to relax a little more. Macallan had smiled at him, and while Jasper still found smiling a little difficult, he appreciated it. "But I love music." He'd liked music even before Mount Weather, but Maya's iPod was sometimes what kept him sane these days. "Maya did too. She had great taste." In music, anyway. Maybe not fine art. He glanced at the keys. "Is it even possible to play the fast version of that song on a piano?"

Tag: @macallan

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Macallan slightly turned his body to face Jasper more, rather than sitting directly in front of the piano. "As long as you got emotions, you can write poetry. Or at least lyrics. But hey, I can definitely help you if this is something you wanna do." In terms of expressing himself. Macallan was rubbish at other things -- stealing for instance, clearly -- but this . . . this was something he could actually do. He gave a small smile at hearing that his late girlfriend had great taste in music. "Well then can't think of a better way to honor her," he said with a continued small smile, reitering his earlier words. Jasper's question about being able to play that song on the piano though . . . brought forth the reveal of another instrument that Macallan had.

"I have a guitar," he began to explain. "Well, I made one. It's good enough to function as one. Sometimes me and a few others get together around the fire pitt outisde and just enjoy some good songs." Campfire style. "You should join us next time," he offered. It was something fun, light hearted, entertaining. "But yeah, to answer your question . . . we could do it on that. Acoustic style. But it's not impossible to play on the piano. It would just be slowed down a lot." Like his own version. Macallan gave a bit of an amused smile. "Yeah I'm talking too much," he stated, amused but also feeling a bit silly.

Tag;; @jasper420

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Jasper smiled faintly when Macallan said he couldn't think of a better way to honor Maya than to write a song for her. Maybe he was right. Maybe it would actually help Jasper. When he'd asked before how long it took Macallan to learn the piano, he'd half been wondering if he could have mastered it enough while Maya had been alive that he could have played something for her. Maybe he could now, even if she was gone.

Jasper's eyebrows raised when Macallan said he had a guitar. One he'd made himself. That actually sounded more interesting than learning piano, if he were honest. You weren't tied to one spot with a guitar. Jasper hated feel stuck in one spot, part of what had gotten him in so much trouble on the Ark.

He huffed a laugh when Macallan finished. "No, you're not. It's fine. If we'd met six months ago, I'd probably be talking your ear off." He started to walk his fingers over the keys on his side of the piano, discovering her was at the end with the high notes. "You made a guitar? That works?" he tilted his head as he looked over at Macallan again, slanting his gaze at the other boy. "Would you mind teaching me that instead of piano? I can... show you how to make gunpowder in return. Or how to pick any lock you could ever want to, get into places you shouldn't be. Could teach you how to blow a perfect smoke ring, if there was anything worth smoking around here."

Tag: @macallan

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Macallan smiled when Jasper assured him that he wasn't talking too much, and his smile grew a little when he questioned the guitar he had made. Yeah. Macallan was pretty damn proud of his guitar! "I did," he said with a small beaming expression. "And I can definitely teach it to you. Whatever song you wanna learn. There's always a way to play it on the guitar." And if there wasn't, he would tweak it to make it possible. He may not be good at a lot of things, but music was where his skills and expertise was. Unlike most others here -- but he liked it that way. Made him feel, useful. Who knows what would have happened if Reyes and the bartender had actually reported him for attempted theft. Fortuantely, he'd had something to offer in exchange for their silence. "I don't trust inhaling stuff," he admitted, afraid that he'd smoke the wrong thing and it would screw up his vocals.

"But the lock picking thing sounds tempting," he said grinning. Though the smile faded as he turned his head to look around, as if making sure that no one was nearby or that they were being overheard. "You know . . . in case of emergencies," he added on with feigned seriousness, and a small wink to indicate that he wasn't wanting to learn that skill for just emergencies. "Apparently I'm not very sneaky, so it'll be good to learn how to be." He figured that went along with lock picking; required sneakiness. "Been wanting to make a couple drums but can't find the material for it. Well, material that's accessible," he stated with a knowing nod and a smirk. Maybe that could be thier first attempt to break into somewhere; a place where extra supplies were kept.

Tag;; @jasper420

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Macallan, as it turned out, was actually really easy to talk to--charming, even, in a weird way. He huffed a breath when Macallan said he didn't trust inhaling stuff. "You haven't inhaled the right stuff, apparently," he joked, just a hint of humor in his voice as he continued walking his fingers over the keys.

He pulled his hand away before it reached the keys in front of Macallan. "If you know where the material's at, we can scope it out. I'm kind of the King of sneaky," he said, smirking slightly. He was good at sneaky, always had been.. at least when he was calm, anyway. When he got too emotional, he tended to draw people's attention, rather than slip under their radar. After a moment, he breathed a laugh and shook his head. "I might not have even been in the Skybox if I hadn't trusted my decidedly less sneaky best friend to do the sneaking around." A thought that had occurred to him on more than one occasion.

Tag: @macallan

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Macallan couldn't help but chuckle at Jasper commenting on how he'd not inhaled the right stuff. The 'good stuff' maybe. "You're right about that. Whatever I smoked tasted like shit. Maybe it was supposed to," he comented with a shrug. He then spoke of how he was the king of sneaky, and it kept the smile on the musician's face. "I have some idea of where we can go. You know, if you wanna prove that title." A playful challenge, but if nothing else, maybe it would continue to help take his mind off his former girlfriend. Apart from music, Macallan really didn't know how to help ease a person when they were mourning. Especially when it came to significant others. And Macallan found himself more and more intrigued by Jasper. And more compelled to want to help him. To want to see him smile.

"So wait, did you get caught for breaking and entering somewhere or for something drug related since you seem to be an expert on that?" Another jest, but he had after all remarked on Macallan not smoking the right stuff. So he wondered if it was because Jasper had some experience with the substnaces. He knew very little of the guy. What he did know was that his friend he was referring to had to have been Monty Green. Macallan may not know everyone, but with his circule of friends, the gossip certainly spread. Besides, he did know a few people who had been in the Sky Box.

Tag;; @jasper420

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"Let's do it. Whenever you want," Jasper said, accepting Macallan's challenge. It would be something to keep him occupied. He needed that. He'd always needed that, which was part of why he'd gotten in trouble on the Ark, but he needed it even more now. His brain still didn't feel like it worked right, but if he kept himself busy, maybe he could hack it. He hadn't started to feel like he was getting better until he found a purpose again. That purpose had been saving Raven before. Maybe now it could be helping Macallan and letting Macallan help him.

Jasper smiled faintly when Macallan asked about his arrest. "I wouldn't be the King of Sneaky if I got caught breaking and entering, would I?" he said, a little teasing in his voice. He shook his head. "I don't know if you know Monty Green. He's my best friend." It was good to say that again and really know that he still meant it. Even after everything that had happened. "We had our own little grow space, if you will, on the Ark. But sometimes I had to borrow from the Ark's medical resources to seed our supply. I always put it back later. But one day, I had Monty do it. And he forgot about one security camera." He could feel his smile widening. It had been horrible at the time, and he'd never forgot Monty holding him as he cried their first night in lock up. But it felt so long ago, and his crimes had been forgiven. And he was still alive. So parts of this memory had almost become fond. "By the time they caught up to Monty, he was with me, and we were... so baked. Like sooooooo baked." He said, then huffed a laugh. "I tried to flirt with the guard when he arrested me," he added, resting his forearm against the piano and dropping his forehead against it as he laughed again, just slightly.

Tag: @macallan