A New Dawn

[Clarke Griffin]

“Damn right.” And it felt so natural to tell him to go do what he had to do, while she did her own task. As soon as he was out, with a quick kiss to her cheek – again strangely normal and right – she started grinding the wheat. It seemed the morning was now finally really here as she worked on making bread for him and her and ultimately their baby, as the baby came to life inside her, probably stretching as far as it could in the limited space. While she was baking the company, even though it was just her baby inside her, was a great feeling. This could be their life. Clarke just couldn’t help her smile, even as her mother came in carrying a bit of meat for breakfast. The two women talked for a bit, Abby helping her with food and occasionally touching her belly to make contact with the baby. 

It was great, almost too great to be true, but yet it was true. She gave her mother a bit of bread as well, but kept most of it for her little family. Clarke cut it up evenly and set it up on the table, along with the meat her mother had brought them. She felt a tear run down her cheek, overwhelmed with the feeling of how perfect this all seemed to be. Placing her hand on her belly, she felt her child kick her. “Hey little one. I can’t wait to meet you. We can’t wait to meet you. You’ll love your Daddy. He’s amazing. And your aunt. She might not like me very much right now, but she'll love you. You need to hold on to her a lot. Your Daddy loves her a lot and she's badass.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

As soon as Bellamy stepped inside, an incredible aroma filled the apartment. He followed the scent to see Clarke talking to their baby, as he leaned against the wall, silently watching with a smile on his lips. It was a perfect image. Seeing her with that glow, an energy he had never seen her have. A kind of radiance that seemed to do the impossible and make her look even more beautiful than she usually did. "For the record, your mom is pretty bad ass too," he spoke up, setting his pack down, as he approached her and of course, their baby. He put his hand on Clarke's belly, leaning forward to kiss Clarke on the lips.

The gesture seemed so, casual. All of this felt so domestic which was a life Bellamy never thought he would have . . . yet one he happily embraced. It reminded him of what it was to have this kind of family, what it was like with love and warmth surrounding him. "And to add on to that record, your daddy also loves your mommy, very much," he reminded, wanting to say that every day so that he didn't take a single moment for granted. "She may have tried to hide it, but I can tell Octavia is excited over the thought of decorating a nursery for her neice or  nephew." He smiled, wanting to reassure Clarke that everything would be ok. "It seems like you two made some progress the past week." He just hadn't been here to see it. "Everythings gonna be ok Clarke. For the sake of this baby, she won't dwell." Bellamy didn't want tension to exist between the two women he loved most in the world. Potentially three females.

[Clarke Griffin]

A blush spread on her face as Bellamy made himself known. He had witnessed her speaking to the unborn. Crap. But it seemed like he was amused by it, rather than laughing about it. Somehow he seemed to like it. That was good, right? And speaking to the baby seemed to work for him a lot better than her speaking to it. Maybe cause it was already used to her voice and zoning out. What if it would hate her? Clarke kissed him, back, smiling lightly, but happily. This was almost too easy. “And your mommy loves your daddy very much, as you already know. You’re probably annoyed by that, right, baby?” But there was no kick from the child in response this time. 

“Is she? That’s good.” She wanted her child to have all he or she could have and that hopefully included a happy future with an aunt and an uncle who loved the child. “We have, I think. Missing and in a way mourning someone we both love and then the baby, well we had reason to try, for you and your baby.” Octavia knew what it was like to grow up without an actual father, yet she had something like a dad the entire time. Bellamy. Now he would have his actual first child to raise. “I’m glad. But I always suspected she’d not take her anger out on Hope or Jake. She knows the baby is innocent in all of it. Now sit. We have fresh bread and meat and fruits.” Perhaps the richest breakfast she had since landing here. 

Clarke stopped moving, though, suddenly clinging to him hard. The world was swaying dangerously again. “Off button.” She announced with a whisper, hoping he understood and would hold her up as she fainted.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy continued to smile as she said that that loved him, suggesting that the baby was annoyed by that. "Naah," he said, speaking for their child. "Any kid wouldn't mind hearing how much their parents love each other." He didn't know his father well, nor did he hear his mother and father exchange such words frequently . . . but imagined it was something that was comforting to hear. "Besides, I'm not annoyed by it at all," he added on. After wanting to hear -- and say -- it for so long, he could now never hear it enough.

He listened to her speak of Octavia, and was about to response, as well as pull out the chair for her, when he noticed her freeze. She said two words that quickly explained things and allowed him to hold her with ease as she slipped into unconsciousness. He gave a look toward her womb . . . one of teasing disbelief. "Really?" He asked a bit sarcastically as he just smiled and shook his head. He proceeded to lift Clarke into his arms and carried her over to the couch, gently placing her on it with a pillow behind her head. He went to the door, poking his head out and asked someone to get Abby. She came almost immediately and he explained what happeend. She quickly checked Clarke over and said that everything was fine, and that she would wake up soon enough. Bellamy nodded as Abby left and told him she would be back in a bit to check on things. Once she was gone, he went to sit on the arm of the couch, watching her as he gently caressed her cheek.

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke felt surprisingly comfortable when she slowly woke up. Where the hell was she? As the world came into focus again, it made perfect sense. Bellamy had caught her and now she found herself on the couch in their apartment with him caressing her cheek. It was almost perfect. Very slowly Clarke sat up again, hand placed on her belly to make sure nothing would bring her down again. She needed this to be okay and for Bellamy to understand, that it was fine. But the way he looked, he seemed to be aware.

“You wanted to show Daddy your little trick, didn’t you, baby?” The blonde smirked at him. That was all there was to it. “I hope you weren’t… too concerned. He or she really just likes to rest where he or she shouldn’t rest.” Either way, as long as it wasn’t bad, she was okay with the fainting. It would get increasingly hard to move anyway. “Let’s eat?” Clarke pushed herself up, slowly, as slowly as possible actually, in order to not give the baby any more ideas. “Who would have thought we’d end up living together and having a baby together?”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Though he knew that her fainting was not overly serious, he still felt relieved when she opened her eyes and became conscious once more. She even expressed her hope that he wasn't too concerned. "Thankfully, you gave me a heads up," he told her. He would have been far more worried had she not been able to express 'off button' for she had explained it to him the day before and ensuring him that it was normal. "I still called your mom though. Just to be sure. She'll be back in a bit to check on you." One could never be too careful, and he wanted to be positive that Clarke was alright. He got to his feet and extended his hand to help her up when she suggested eating.

"If you want I can bring the stuff here?" He offered, unsure if she should be moving around so much after having just fainted. "We're going to have to have a talk with our baby," he said jokingly. As long as both he or she and Clarke were healthy and alright, that's what mattered most. He continued to smile, thinking over her words. "It all feels . . . weirdly comfortable," he admitted. "Natural and domestic." As if they had just so easily fallen in sync with living with each other. Granted, it had only been one night and this morning, but still. It didn't feel odd, or awkward. "We may be doing things the other way around." Sleeping together, getting pregnant, saying they loved each other, and then moving in. "But I wouldn't change it." Because what they had been through, led them to this moment now. Which felt perfect. He only wished he could recall the first night he showed her how much he cared for her, where words had often failed him.

[Clarke Griffin]

“It’s not like Hope of Jake is doing that on purpose.” Clarke protested. The baby was moving for as long as it still could move. It was only natural for it to change positions and then in the end sometimes end up on her vein. “Let the baby move as long as it still can. Soon enough it’ll be barely able to move in there at all. There’s only so far I can expand.” And that limit would be reached soon enough. She was already resembling a ball more than a human. 

“I would change a few things about it, if I could.” Clarke pointed out as she finally managed to get up and walk over to the table to sit down and start the breakfast she made with love and patience she didn’t know she possessed. “For example I would rather have you remember out night. It would have saved both of us weeks of heartache as well. Then I wouldn’t have left. Would have saved me a lot of fear and worry over my health and then the baby. Then I would have rather not have you had find me in the woods. That was painful as hell and scary. And on top of it: Should have kicked you sooner, so you could wrap that pretty head of yours around the idea of being a father sooner.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She stated that their baby wasn't doing it on purpose, something that he of course knew. He doubted any baby consciously did that to their mother. "I was just teasing," he told her. "After all, you're the one who called them a little shit for how active they were," he reminded with a teasing tone. He stayed close to her as she made her way over to the table, and once she was seated, he did the same, listening to what she would have changed about that night. She spoke aloud the thoughts he had about wanting to remember. But he also could help but think . . . if he was in his right mind, would it have happened the way it had? Would it have occurred as soon as it did?

It was obviously not something they had talked about afterwards, otherwise he would have gotten a heads up that they had sex . . . which he didn't know until she was pregnant. And even then, it had taken some time for him to realize that he was the father. As far as he had been concerned, it was an impossibility. That one missing memory had a chain of events that followed, as she said, her leaving, the tension caused between them . . . and so on. "Can you tell me about that night?" He asked her. "I figure I did something to sort of, prompt what happened." He clearly hadn't been thinking rationally . . . but maybe for once, he just let his desires overpower any logical thought.

He only hoped he hadn't pressured her in any way. Then again, Clarke wouldn't have put up with his shit. "And we never spoke of it after." Was that something he demanded? Something they agreed upon, or just a silent understanding between the two of them? He just wanted to know what he could about the events of that night. How it started . . . how they had parted ways afterwards. With any luck, perhaps it would trigger something in his memory to help him recall it.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Are you going to stand there all morning or are you actually going to eat breakfast? I did not make the bread for the air!” She grinned at him. She was already happily starting to eat. It was so good to have bread again and meat. All that was missing was a bit of salt maybe, but they couldn’t have it all. For now all food was primarily just food to sustain and grow the little human inside her. That was basically all she was about right now. She loved him, she wanted to devote herself to him, be with him, but as long as she was pregnant and then later as a mother, he had to come second. This baby would not be able to care for itself. It was helpless right now and would be helpless when it was born, it needed to be fed and changed and held and taught and protected. So, yes, Bellamy came second to their child and somehow Clarke knew that she came second to the child as well now, which was good. Clarke placed the bread back on the plate to look at him. He really had no clue.

“It was after we got sick. When we recovered. Just after Raven broke up with Finn, if I did my maths correctly it was also the night before you slept with Raven.” Okay, she couldn’t hold that one back, despite not being able to hold it against him. “Finn was being a bit of a douche that night. Because of how she broke up with him, expected me to … well be fully committed to him then and all that. You came to help cleaning up the traces of the outbreak and noticed how distraught I was, so you delegated the task to someone and we went to your tent to talk. Things just… developed from there. We kissed between laughing…”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

Bellamy listened attentively to Clarke's answer to his question regarding the night they had slept together. She mentioned it happened the night before he slept with Raven, causing him to slightly clench his jaw. He hadn't had any recollection of having sex with Clarke when he had hooked up with Raven. Had he remembered . . . he wouldn't have been so quick to sleep with the mechanic. He had just assumed that Clarke and Finn were together -- in whatever way. Or well perhaps that was a bit of a lie.

He wasn't thinking much at all when he'd done that. He listened as she went on, saying that Finn had trying to get her to be with him. Ass. He should have been man enough to make a decision for himself and not lead two women on. But Bellamy didn't want to think or speak ill of the dead, especially considering how close Finn and Clarke had been. Hell, even Bellamy didn't totally despise the guy. They may have butt heads a lot but it didn't mean he wanted to see him die. At least it was better than seeing him get tortured.

"I know you can handle yourself, Clarke, but . . . I didn't pressure you or anything, did I?" He asked because forcing himself on a woman or putting her in any situation like that where she felt uncomfortable, was not something he ever intended to do. He hated the fact that he couldn't remember it. He wanted to; he wished he had those memories to treasure. But at the same time, if he was not in his right mind, what if he was not focused on her body language, ignoring any signs of discomfort or that they were doing something she didn't completely want. "Did we agree not to mention it again, cause it never came up." He paused for a moment after setting some bread on his plate. "For what it's worth, had I remembered, I wouldn't have just pretended like it didn't happen." It wasn't the same with Clarke as it was with Raven where he could just sleep with her and pretend like it never happened.

Which, seemed to be exactly what happened. "You must have thought I was such an ass, more of one than you already did." He wasn't exactly proud of himself for that happening the way it did. Ignoring her after they slept together. "Sorry, Clarke. If I did anything to hurt you." Not necessarily physically, but emotionally. If he had made her feel . . . whatever she may have due to his not acting differently the next day. He hadn't remembered but she probably didn't know that. Or might have been worse if she did. He didn't know where her head was at the next day, though he was trying to remember. He supposed he didn't see much of her, since they had gone in hunting groups and Clarke had gone with two other people, Finn being one of them.

[Clarke Griffin]

“Bellamy we’re talking about you! You don’t need to pressure any girl into sex. No. You didn’t you were sweet. It was a mutual decision.” But still, knowing he was drugged that night changed everything. What if he didn’t want that? And here he was worrying he had pressured her, when technically he was the one who couldn’t consent to their night together. Technically, if he wanted to see the blame, it was on her. She should have noticed he was drugged, but she didn’t. This was on her, yet the outcome of it, their child, was a blessing to her. And to him, too it seemed.

“How could we? I didn’t even notice you didn’t remember, Bellamy. There was too much going on, more important than for us to talk about having had sex. The next day Finn and I got kidnapped by Anya… while…” Yeah, he was aware what he did, she didn’t need to remind him. “When we got back, we had bigger problems, we had a war on our hands. Then I was in Mount Weather, when we reunited, we had Finn to worry about and out people in Mount Weather. We had bigger problems on our mind than what happened between us. It just made sense to talk about anything but that night. Saving lives was just this small bit more important than, well you know. You were there for me. I didn’t even notice you didn’t remember. I felt like it might have been a one night thing for you, I always thought it would mean more to me than you and I was prepared and it seemed to be right. I just never expected you to not remember.” Now they had made sense of it. And now Clarke knew what happened between them. It made a thought come to her mind again, making her smile softly.

“Remember when you knocked the drink out of my hand? Look how that turned out. You tried to protect me from the poison, but with your move you also protected your baby from the alcohol.” Though she had taken a sip later, one she might regret for the rest of her life if that caused any damage for their son or daughter. “But yeah, we didn’t exactly have the chance to speak about it, or the time, so it’s okay. I understand it now. What matters is that you’re here now. You’re not going to miss any development of Hope or Jake anymore.”

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

She assured him that he didn't pressure that, even saying that he would never pressure any girl. He wanted to believe that was true, but it was more difficult to determine without the memories associated of that night. Though he knew Clarke wouldn't lie about this. He trusted her judgment, even if he couldn't trust his own considering his compromised mental state. He also knew that his feelings for Clarke were stronger than for every other woman, which had also caused the uncertainty as to whether he pressed her that night or not. But she said it was mutual, and he gave a small nod of relief.

"Good." That was very good to hear. He just wished he could remember. But the next time it happened -- whenever that was -- he would make sure it was special, and not a result of being high out of his mind. She went on to explain that they hadn't the time. With her getting kidnapped later, the issues with Murphy and Bellamy having gotten hung, and then Mount Weather . . . there hadn't indeed been a lot of time. Then again, there was hardly any time to consider themselves. They were leaders, people who looked after the others above themselves.

"I know there was a lot going on," he agreed. "I may not remember that night, but it definitely wasn't just about sex for me." He wanted her to know that much, even if the rest had been left unexplained for so long. With Raven, it had been just about sex. Hell, with every other woman he had been with, it was just about that. But not with Clarke. She brought up when he had tossed the drink out of her hand, something that had just been pure instinct . . . and the thought of it also protecting their child caused him to lightly smile. Had he known that she was pregnant with his son or daughter, he would have done a hell of a lot more to protect her . . . or well, them.

"I don't plan on missing anything else," he added on to her own words about it. "I want to be there with you, to experience our baby's first moments in this world and everything that comes after." He couldn't dwell in the past; he needed to look toward the future. And the present. Taking care of her and Hope or Jake. Being there for them in whatever way he could be. "When Octavia was born, I remember how incredible it was. Holding a life, a part of you in your arms." He could remember that day perfectly, despite how long ago it was. And now . . . he and Clarke would experience that in a whole other way. For together, they had created a life.

[Clarke Griffin]

“I hope this world lets us.” She admitted. This world was so fast, so unpredictable. On the Ark, she could have almost guaranteed that he would be in the room with him, holding her hand as she gave birth to their child. Down here anything could happen. There could be an attack that might take him from her before the baby was even born. She might still lose the child if it decided to come early. She might die while giving birth. Everything was so unpredictable down here. They needed to savor the moments, every single moment. “This time it’s not your sibling, it’s your child, a person you created.” Not alone, but without him this baby would not grow inside her right now. Without him Hope or Jake would have never had the chance to exist. 

“Raven and Wick are trying to fix he ultrasound. Well Mom has them try and fix it, actually. She needs it for multiple kinds of diagnosing, but if it gets fixed in time, we could find out what we’re having ahead of time. If we want.” She didn’t mind. She loved the child, she didn’t care about the gender at all, just that it would be healthy. In big she gave up a lot for the baby and happily did so, she just wanted it to be healthy. She wanted to see her child, at least once, hold it just once. Clarke was just about to reach for something, when the door burst open. Monty came running in, obviously in some form of distress.

“There are Grounders at the gate. They want to talk to Clarke. They’re coming from this Lexa person and they’re insisting it’s her.” No. What could the Grounders possibly want from her? What could Lexa want from her? Her hand went protectively to her stomach. Her instinct told her not to go, it was dangerous for her child, but what choice did she have? If she didn’t go they might be risking a new war. There would be guards to protect her as well. And hopefully Bellamy and by the looks of it Monty, because he kept standing there, as if he was waiting to go out with them. “Are you coming with me?” She asked her childs father. At the least she knew he would protect her and their child at all costs.

Bellamy Blake

[Bellamy Blake]

Tag: Clarke Griffin

whatever

THE HELL WE WANT

So did he. There were a lot of risks, a lot of threats out there . . . but at the same time, Bellamy was motivated as ever -- perhaps more so now -- to protect those he loved. No matter what it took. She spoke of how it was now a life he created, rather than a sibling, and he knew the sentiment would be greatly different. Holding Octavia for the first time had been indescribable. And he was fairly certain he'd been rendered the same way when holding their child . . . the impact being massive, the very idea of it so unfamiliar and yet, so wanted at the same time.

He'd never planned on being a father any time soon, yet now knowing that he would be one with the woman he loved . . . he couldn't imagine it any other way. To add to everything, Clarke was saying that there was a possibility they could discover the sex of their baby. "It would help knowing whether to call our child Hope or Jake," he said with a smile. He was about to say something else regarding the topic when Monty burst in and told them there were Grounders at the gate. And that Lexa wanted to speak to Clarke. He was entirely opposed to the idea, but knew that Clarke would go. So instead, Bellamy wordlessly got up, and reached for a dagger that he tucked away, as well as a gun that he gripped in his hand.

"Do you even have to ask?" He responded. He was not about to let Clarke confront the Grounders without him . . . and he had an idea that he wasn't the only one with this sentiment. When they stepped outside, Octavia and Lincoln were already waiting near the gates, along with Miller, Marcus and even Abby was there. Bellamy didn't like this, not one bit. They could be up to anything. They could have archers in the trees for all he knew. His eyes went to the woods behind where the Grounders stood, scanning the high trees for any sign of movement. "Stay a little behind me Clarke," he told her in a low voice as they walked toward the gates.

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke was not surprised at all to see those many people at the gate, waiting to stand between her and the grounders, to protect the unborn rather than her, but she was grateful either way. She walked behind Bellamy like he requested, but was soon flanked by both Octavia and he mother, both holding onto her arms, as if the steady her. It was O who whispered an explanation to her. If they held onto her and it appeared as if she needed support in order to carry herself and her unborn, the Grounders could not call her out and could not take it as an offence if she didn’t approach them as they wanted. It was for her protection. Her childs family surrounded her, protecting the precious unborn as they walked as far to the gate as they dared to. Clarke watched the other girls reaction to seeing her rounder belly. She could see the anger in her eyes, which spoke for itself. This was a visit to see if the rumors of her pregnancy were true, it appeared, which they were. It was getting to her, it pissed her off, yet she had no grounds on which to take it as personal offence or offence to her people. She only nodded to one of her guards, who spoke for Lexa. Seemed like she didn’t even want to address Clarke in person

“We have heard of the news of your people welcoming the first new life here in your settlement.” The man announced. “We have come with gifts to mark this joyous occasion with you and to welcome the first of a new generation, which we hope will be wiser than the current one.” What a nice attack on them, but Clarke was not about to take offense in it. Instead she nodded. “Thank you. That is very generous." The guards unloaded baskets with what looked like grain. That would help their people a great deal, especially in the winter. Monty could make sure it was good and not gonna poison their people. But then they also unloaded a basket with what she could see was a blanket and baby clothing. 

“A gift from our commander to the parent of the child. Only to the parent of the child.” Clarke felt herself shiver. She couldn’t even think as fast as Lincoln announced Clarke was in no condition to walk outside alone, that she should name someone to take the basket in her stead. “Only to the parent of the child.” The man confirmed again. They couldn’t risk insulting Lexa, even if they could never use those gifts, she had to take them. But neither her mother, nor Octavia seemed to want to let go of her.

Bellamy Blake