To Build A Home

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

It had been nearly two years since Niylah first laid eyes on Clarke... it’s amazing how much can change in such a matter of days. Wanheda, though still very much present in their culture, was slowly becoming a thing of legends and stories. Once, Niylah and Clarke had left to hide away—taking only three hens, a horse and some of Niylah’s belongings. People still hunted her, but they were safer than ever. Skaikru and the twelve clans were at peace and the two were alone. They lived a very modest life with a small home and a large stable. They traded milk and eggs for all that they had and made a home just outside of a large Trikru village.

It was easy to say that Niylah loved Clarke... Such a statement had never been truer. She loved everything from her loyalty to the way her lips parted and her brows furrowed while she drew... She was there for every night terror and every moment of panic, even if she didn’t understand it. This life though? It was something that Niylah had never thought was possible. It lulled them into a state of peace and security... They still had their arguments as most couples did, but they were a different kind of pairing.

Thoughts like these played in Niylah’s mind as she climbed the hill towards their home with two goats in tow. She hoped Clarke wouldn’t be upset about it—but she was able to trade one old bull for the two lively little goats. She saw it as trading meat for milk, though they were attached to their animals. “Clarke? Are you home?” She called out in Trigedasleng as she tied the goats to their paddock fence. There were many times that Clarke needed to be alone and would hunt... it was something Niylah had grown used to over the years.

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

When Clarke left Camp Jaha she never thought she would settle down anywhere. She never expected to find any form of peace, but there it was. There she found peace. She found peace in a woman called Niylah. Niylah had no expectations. She didn’t want anyone but Clarke, with all her flaws. She helped her through dark nights and days. In Niylahs presence Clarke started what she hadn’t done in those three months she was alone: She started to heal. She started to deal with what she had done, while falling in love with this woman.

Now, before she even realized it, two years had passed and Clarke was living happily with Niylah and a bunch of animals in what she liked to call a farm close to a trikru village. It had been ages since someone passed their way looking for Wanheda. She still preferred to hide her hair most of the time under a scarf usually. She was done coloring them. Clarke produced medicine next to helping with the milk and whatever else their farm could produce. It was easy to live from, it was save and wonderful. They even had enough so Clarke could sit and draw and do a secret project she hid underneath a floorboard. One day she would show Niylah, but not until it was closer to being finished. She was at it at the moment when she heard her girlfriends voice.

Clarke made her way to where she heard the voice after closing the floorboard again. She smiled as she saw her. “Hey beautiful. Where have you been so long? Have you found something nice?”

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

Niylah smiled, flashing her teeth playfully when Clarke called her beautiful. Funny how a word could make your heart flutter. As she came down from the house, Niylah caught her in an embrace with her arm looped around her so that she could pull her in close with her back against Niylah’s chest. Lightly, she kissed her shoulder and hugged her before turning them so she could see the new little additions. “Two goats from Kirava. I haven’t named them yet, but they already make milk which we can sell—she wanted to trade them for our older bull. It seemed a fair trade,” she kissed Clarke’s cheek before letting her go so that she could look at the young goats more closely as Niylah opened the paddock gate.

The land they claimed was beautiful—especially at this later time of day. Even the herb garden seemed to prosper more here by their house on the hill than it could in any Trikru village. It was a piece of heaven, especially with Clarke here. Niylah was still watching her with a grin. Even with the scarf hiding her hair, she was still quite possibly the prettiest woman she had ever laid her eyes on. “Have you been busy?” she asked playfully as she leaned on the fence to watch her. “I guess I was gone a while...”

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke smiled as her lover returned, wrapping her in a loving embrace that always made her feel warm inside. It was weird how accustomed someone could get to love and peace and simple happiness, because Clarke was happy there. She let Niylah turn her as she wanted until her eyes fell to two small additions to their farms. Two goats. Milk was definitely something they could use, not only for themselves, but to trade along with the other products they made. Part of Clarke wanted to start trading with Arkadia, but she was so damn scared to face her people. It was a long time now, too long probably. There was no way back. But she was happy here.

“They are wonderful.” Clarke said as she entered the paddock to formerly meet the two goats. She marveled at the softness of their fur and how adorable they were. They were a real addition to their little farm. Clarke kept petting the goats as she replied to her girlfriends questions. “I haven’t been too busy. It’s been a rather slow time here.” She answered. Slow enough for her to work on her project. “The household is taken care of. So is the garden. All we would have left to do is cook dinner. But as you can see, everything is in order!”

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

Niylah smiled and leaned on the fence, watching Clarke interact with the goats as she spoke. She was so... gentle. It was no wonder they led such peaceful existences. Niylah had Clarke to thank for everything... for this, for the serenity of this lifestyle compared to her life at the trading post. Even now, with Trikru coming through often to trade it was still a much less hostile experience. Some mistook being gentle for being weak—but Niylah knew that Clarke was probably stronger than most who had that very belief, even as she watched her pet the two new goats as they nickered and stomped.

“Well, that almost makes you the perfect housewife,” Niylah teased her gently before untying the ropes she’d slung around the goats. She hung them on the fence and reached out her hand for Clarke to take so they could go inside. “I’m surprised you haven’t gotten bored. Maybe next time I go to Polis... I could take you with me.” She smiled at Clarke when she spoke but she knew that they avoided travel for a very good reason. It had been so long, though... Niylah wanted to show Clarke more than these woods.

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke felt in no way like a housewife. She still tended more to the medicine she was making than to the house, but she tried. This was a relationship based on both of them being equals, meaning she had to and she wanted to pull her own weight. She wanted to help Niylah where she could and she did so. Clarke liked the farm. She liked to produce what they needed. She liked to hunt, still. She liked that they could trade enough to live wonderfully comfortably and they still had enough to have some form of luxury to their lives. With her hair hidden, Clarke could even heal people sometimes, but she was still scared to be recognized as Wanheda. She hated that title with all her heart.

“No.” Clarke said, almost a little too fast. Polis was no option for her. She didn’t want to go to Polis, under no circumstances at all. Polis was a place she could not even imagining to go to. Not while she was there. She was, still, a dark figure in her life. She was why Clarke once left her own people and she was, by extension part of the reason why there was no way back for her. “Not while she is commander. But we could go to Arkadia.” That was as far as they could go, and it showed a bit of courage, as she was scared to face her family, everyone she had left behind. She was scared, so offering to go there, was a huge deal for her. “What do you want to eat today, love?”

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

Niylah smiled lightly though the gentle tease fell flat—but her answer to Polis made Niylah raise her brows with genuine confusion. Her; Heda Lexa—the one who abandoned Clarke and her people in the mountain to fend for themselves without the twelve clans and their armies. Even Niylah held a certain amount of resentment for the weakness the commander showed, but she hadn’t thought of it. She could only think of the market stalls and the music… such beautiful music could be played in the streets at dusk. It was truly a gorgeous place… she couldn’t wait to show Clarke. Commander’s died young… and the end of her reign may mean the beginning of a better Polis.

Then she mentioned Arkadia… Niylah was a little worried and it showed when she brought up the Skaikru base. As she walked into the house and spared a glance back at Clarke, she decided to voice her concerns. “I would love to trade with them,” she began slowly as she looked at the counter where she looked for something to prepare a quick meal. “I hate the idea of you going alone; but I don’t know if you can be sure they would trust me.” She was after all a ‘grounder’. Such an odd term. She preferred Trikru—but their people had so many reasons to fear one another. “Do you miss them?” she asked gently, curious as to her reasons for wanting to return. Niylah had no family she missed besides her mother… She couldn’t imagine how Clarke felt with her mother still alive and waiting. She asked this question as she looked through the pantries and pulled out some carrots, a couple of potatoes and some salted beef.

“I can make us some stew,” she offered with a small smile. “We haven’t had a well cooked meal in a while—everything’s been so busy.”

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

“They will have to take my word for it.” It was as simple as that. Niylah had taken care of her, when she needed someone who wasn’t there when she killed people. She was there when Clarke broke down. She was there when Clarke cried, thinking she could no longer go home anymore. And she couldn’t. She had a new home here. It would take a lot of effort to go home and it’s been too long. But she loved her home, she loved this home. “They will trust you because you saved me, Niylah. You saved my life. My mother will appreciate that.” If she was still alive. Her entire family was there and she hadn’t seen them for two years. It was two years too many. It was unforgivable. She couldn’t forgive herself for that. She didn’t want to. 

“I do. Every day a little more.” But it was no accusation. “It was my choice and I love the home we have, I just sometimes… want to go back there. But I’m afraid.” She knew she had to be open with her girlfriend. She knew more about her than a lot of people did and Clarke wanted to keep it this open and honest with her – minus the project she was working on, that was meant as a surprise for her and could and should remain a secret. Clarke missed her home, but she had another one and it was a bit confusing to know one door was closed, but this one was wide open. 

“I want to help.” Clarke said. “It’s about time I learn to cook proper food! I can’t have us starve should you get sick and bedridden.”

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

Clarke had been through so much—and had to go through so much. She was away from a family that missed her and a home where she was supposed to belong. Niylah knew that she had many reasons to be afraid of returning, and none of them were things that Niylah could take away. Niylah couldn’t take away the survivors guilt, the wanheda stain or the fact that she’d been away from Camp Jaha for so long her friends and family probably saw it as some kind of betrayal in her eyes... Maybe—Niylah could have been wrong... “We will plan a trip and pack a cart with supplies for them...” Niylah offered with a small grin. “They are probably getting tired of game and roots...” Real produce took time and resources the camp simply couldn’t have had. Their home was a rarity which made their goods very easy to trade and very valuable. Especially the herb gardens and milk.

Niylah was digging around for what they would need; a large pot which she set on the wood stove to heat up, a knife, a few plates and the vegetables gathered up. “I can teach you,” she grinned a little and handed Clarke the knife. “My mother taught me when I was young... My father wasn’t much for real meals after she passed but I still remember. We need to cut the meat up into smaller pieces—if you want to do that, I can get some water in that pot.” Niylah grinned a little at Clarke as she spoke. “We can even leave what’s left overnight. It’ll be even better when it’s had a chance to rest.”

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke nodded. She was glad Niylah was thinking along the same lines. It made being with her all the easier. They agreed on so much. Niylah made her life so easy. She never expected something of her she couldn’t give, just honesty. She expected Clarke to say it, when she couldn’t speak and that was something she could do. She could speak up if she couldn’t speak with her about something. But there were things she wanted to speak about and didn’t know how to bring up, yet, a desire. She was almost ashamed for it, but she would have to speak about it at one point. Not now, though. Not now. “Sounds like a great plan.” Given who they were, they might even get a better price for them. She just wanted to see her family again.

Clarke took the knife and gently cut the meat. It was easier than killing, though killing animals was easy for her now. She had watched them kill among each other. She had seen them kill for survival, it was easy, because she only took what they needed for survival. Nothing about the animals was wasted. It was an honorable death, a good one, one Clarke could live with. This was food, their survival. “So it will last the night? Wonderful.” Maybe they could trade for some electronicals in Arkadia, get an actual fridge up and running so the milk would last longer. It would be a great help for them and maybe Arkadia, too if they wanted to trade milk with them. “Did you ever think og children?” as soon as this slipped out, Clarkes hand slipped, cutting herself in the finger. She didn’t intend to say it before she was fully ready.

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

“Yes, it will last the night. We’ll keep it under the stove.” Niylah smiled softly at Clarke, finding it funny that she had asked the same question. Cooking wasn’t the same as drying and salting meat—or drying out fruits to make them last the winter. Food spoiled fast, but there were tricks. Since she’d never had any of the technology that Arkadia did, Niylah didn’t know any better. The next question however caught her off guard as she filled the bowl with the well water she’d gathered that morning. It didn’t alarm her as much as Clarke cutting her finger. Niylah put the bowl down and reached for the cloth bandages that Clarke had made. “Are you alright?” she asked as she took her lover’s hand and looked it over. It wasn’t too deep, but it was no doubt painful. Especially around the salt. She set down the bandages and wet one of them slightly to help clean the cut as she held her hand.

“Children...” she said slowly with a small frown. “I don’t think of them often... but I’ve always wanted to be a mother. Especially when I was younger.” Niylah was still frowning with concentration as she cleaned up the cut, not sure how to bandage a wound like that. “Why do you ask, Clarke?” She clearly was distracted by the topic. She’d sliced through her finger—and Clarke wasn’t clumsy. So she had to wonder why the sudden interest. Though, children normally only happened upon families of two genders. Some warriors would need to have their children raised by others, and in villages this was easy. She’d met two young men who fathered three children and trained them to hunt. They were a happy family... It was possible, always. Too many children went without parents these days... Adoption was always a possibility.

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

Clarke stared. She stared in pure fascination at her finger. What just happened? She didn’t know. She knew it was part of what she thought, but probably not the time or place for it yet. She wanted it one day. But maybe, maybe she just wanted to do it because she had the need to make Niylah feel like this was still her home. Even though they planned on going back to her people for a bit. She would come home again. Niylah was her home now. “I… I don’t know.” Clarke admitted. She bit her lower lip, still unsure of what this meant. She knew she was a mess most of the time. The pieces of her that broke have not been mended and she doubted she could, but Niylah accepted her as that.

“I think I would like to have a child at one point.” Clarke admitted slowly. She wanted that. She had always imagined to have a child. With a woman it would be harder, but possible still, in another way. Maybe adoption. Maybe find a father, who wanted to donate to them. It could work. “I just… We’re a family, Niylah. I consider you to be… the one maybe. I think we could add with a child. Maybe adopt. Maybe… we have enough to offer to a kid. We have something very good going one, if you think I’m stable enough.”

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

Niylah didn’t understand what Clarke meant by the one. It was an old, pre-apocalyptic saying. She had the same confusion she did when she heard the words “float you” or anything like that. Clarke had explained some of them, but Niylah could figure out what Clarke meant on her own. The one; the one she wanted to be with? Perhaps even the one she was meant to be with. It made Niylah smile with silent pride as she cleaned up the cut. “You are my family,” she said without a hint of hesitation. Clarke was everything to her... But then Clarke added... if she was stable enough. It made Niylah frown and reach up to cup her face.

Her thumbs traced her cheekbones and her lips lightly pressed against her forehead. “You’re stable enough, Clarke... What we have is rare and... special.” Niylah smiled softly and tucked Clarke’s hair behind her ears as she looked at her intently. “You would be an incredible mother to any child, and if it is something that you want to pursue I am more than happy to take that journey with you.” Niylah’s smile was soft, but the idea made her so happy her eyes burned with emotion. “I would love to start a family with you... Don’t ever think that you’re too unstable for it.”

OWL

[Clarke Griffin]

Niylah actually agreed. Then again she had no idea what a weird relationship Clarke had with her mother. It was in no way simple to be the daughter of Abby Griffin, not with their past. She didn’t thinks he had a great rolemodel for a mother after all. Emma wasn’t so sure there was a way for her to actually be a good mother. But if Niylah believed that, then maybe. Maybe she took after her father? Her father was a good parent. Maybe she had it from him. She already had so much from her mother, including not necessarily being the kind of person to save others. 

“Maybe I’m taking after my mother though.” She finally voiced her concerns. Maybe she was like Abby and with that a mother she wouldn’t wish upon her child. She wanted her kid to be okay and that might not be with her. Clarke was sad to even think about that. But Niylah would be a great mother. Their child would adore her. “Then we’ll see how to.” They had several ways to do it. “Do you want to adopt or would you like one of us to actually get pregnant?” Both was possible. And if they talked about it, there was nothing against either. 

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TRY NOT TO RUN FROM THIS FREEDOM ALWAYS HAS A PRICE TO PAY tagged: Clarke Griffin

"I'd like to meet your mother," Niylah said with a small grin. She knew the relationship was an odd one. It was nothing like the relationship that Niylah had with her mother before the mountain claimed her. Niylah's mother was the kind of woman who was so selfless, so kind that she made a good man out of Niylah's father. She taught Niylah everything that she knew about the world and spent every moment she could with her. It was such a long time ago, but she still remembered it fondly. Clarke was such an incredible person... Niylah knew that a lot of her lover's personality came from her father, but that didn't mean her mother didn't have a part to play. "Maybe when we go to Arkadia?"

When Clarke asked about adoption or pregnancy, Niylah couldn't help the slight cringe. No, she wasn't opposed to pregnancy, but the idea of another lying with Clarke was strange. Niylah was a little possessive, though she would never admit it. If pregnancy was what Clarke wanted, then she would of course be open to it. "There are always children in villages that need homes, but they find them fairly quickly..." Niylah bit her lip as she thought about it. "If you'd like to have a child, we can do it... I've always loved infants," she said with a soft chuckle. "I'll admit the idea of somebody else fathering our child is strange, but it has been done before."

OWL